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the immortal 8n9 - the confession (skit) lyrics

therapist:
well well well!
look what we have here
it’s the immortal 8n9
welcome, to your new therapy treatment
we’re not gonna play no games here or get into puzzles
here… we’re gonna get right to the root of the problems…

8n9:
look, look man, can i just make a quick confession doc?…
i don’t like you, already
i’m not gonna like you. cuz i don’t like therapy
i’ve been doing this for half my life and it has amounted to nothing…
but wasting my time and making me more angry than i was when i walked in the f+ckin door
so what could you possibly do dats different from any other therapist i’ve ever had?

therapist:
well i’m glad you asked
the first thing i do differently is, i don’t sugarcoat
i don’t beat around the bush
we’re here to talk about you
not your mother, not your brother’s, not your children, or your wife, or ex+wife, whatever the case may be
we’re here to talk about you
so let’s start by talking about c+your coping mechanisms
what do you do to cope with your current states of depression and anxiety?
8n9:
i drink a lot of beer
i smoke a lot of weed
and i avoid therapy, by any and all means
cuz therapy is the main cause of my depression… as of late
constantly reminding me of everything that’s wrong with my life
with little reminders of the good things that have happened in the past to give me false hope

therapist:
well we all have problems and a lot of things that are wrong with our life, but i don’t think there’s a such thing as false hope

8n9:
well good for you, but i don’t care!
in my life hope is hopeless
and that’s just what i’ve learned from my personal esperience… doctor!!!

therapist:
well as i told you…
this is a new treatment
so… why don’t you roll up some of this herbal supplement
and tell me about these experiences?

8n9:
wait a minute you want me to do what?!

- the immortal 8n9 lyrics

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