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the jolly rogers - tale of mary drew lyrics

the time has come to tell you of the tale of mary drew
who buried sixteen husbands by the age of twenty two
some say that she’s a monster, the evil widowed bride
but you’ll find there’s more to it when you hear how they all died

at sixteen she met charles, it was love at first sight
they married sunday morning and they buried him that night
they all thought it tragic but none thought it foul play
until six months later on her second wedding day!

there was charles and barry, and nick and mark and john
michael and terry, henry, sam and ron
there was billy and w+lly and matthew and fred
there was a james and a brian and now they’re all dead!
barry was a strapping lad, as strong as any ox
but after just two days with her he wound up in a box!
the police they were alerted and just had to come around
but a poor, sad widow was all the coppers found

they looked for clues each time but never found a trace
each husband was found naked with a smile on his face
they put the clues together, an answer came to light
none of these men could handle on of mary’s wedding nights!

there was charles and barry, and nick and mark and john
michael and terry, henry, sam and ron
there was billy and w+lly and matthew and fred
there was a james and a brian and now they’re all dead!

now michael was what some of you might call a “ladies man,”
said, “mary just needs taming, and i have the perfect plan.”
well they heard him beg for mercy and then beg her not to stop
so unless his plan was suicide i guess it was a flop!

it seemed mart was packing some extraordinary heat
and only the bravest would slip between her sheets
sixteen men went to heaven right before each died
but she was always happy to become a new man’s bride!

there was charles and barry, and nick and mark and john
michael and terry, henry, sam and ron
there was billy and w+lly and matthew and fred
there was a james and a brian and now they’re all dead!
w+lly was a clockmaker, as punctual as could be
and so they were married at precisely ten past three
when he went to the bedroom he knew he was tempting fate
next morning, for the first time, that poor w+lly he was late

matthew was a blacksmith and a bitter, angry man
his neighbors they suggested that he ask for mary’s hand
when they put him down to rest he was grinning ear to ear
and the neighbors all let loose with a very tasteful cheer

there was charles and barry, and nick and mark and john
michael and terry, henry, sam and ron
there was billy and w+lly and matthew and fred
there was a james and a brian and now they’re all dead!

well, i had to know though i don’t mean to be obscene
and she agreed that i would be her number seventeen
so we were married sunday, i was ready for the thrill
and they buried her on monday by the tree up on the hill!

there was charles and barry, and nick and mark and john
michael and terry, henry, sam and ron
there was billy and w+lly and matthew and fred
there was a james and a brian and mary drew
and now they’re all dead!

- the jolly rogers lyrics

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