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the kale page - used to be cool lyrics

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man..
i used to be so cool
i used to be the coolest of the cool
(but now, now i’m nothing)
now i’m just a weak, sad
excuse for a man

i was the coolest 12 year old
you’d ever met
when it came to kids
i was as cool as they get
peanut b-tter sandwiches
and giving kids st-tches
i’ll stymie you if you hurt me and
i’ll never get the b-tches

when i was in 1st grade
i wet my pants at school
call me what you will but
i was pretty d-mn cool
other kids didn’t even know
where i was at
and one time i went to
lunchtime without a hat

when i was in grade 5
i punched a kid that was 7
yeah it was mean
but that little sh-t had it comin
he stole my friends paper plane
and didn’t give it back
so after lunch
i hurled my fist at his back

i was the coolest 12 year old
you’d ever met
when it came to kids
i was as cool as they get
peanut b-tter sandwiches
and giving kids st-tches
i’ll stymie you if you hurt me and
i’ll never get the b-tches

i started school when i was 5
and ever since i’ve never really felt alive
i’ve strived to divide and multiply
watching 10 years of my life roll by
i keep getting older and older
and each day it gets colder and colder
and the grave gets closer and closer
and its only gonna get even closer

geometry, geography, biology, history
this stuff is constantly getting
the best of me
and all it’s about is popularity
i think i need a little clarity

school started sh-t and it’s getting worse
and before you know it i’ll be in the he-rs-
and ayo can somebody call the nurse
cause i need relief from this awful curse

(talking) ‘too real
that was, ah, too real
i thought you’re supposed to be taking the p-ss on these songs
you can’t just go ahead and say something like that, yeah
ahrm maybe you cut that one from the final take
yeah..’

- the kale page lyrics

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