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the lancashire hotpots - don't put your granny on the internet lyrics

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[intro (spoken)]
right then
let’s have an 80’s knees up
here we go

[verse 1]
oh you shouldn’t throw water on a chip pan fire
it’ll take your face off in a flash
don’t bet your money on the grand national
you’ll definitely lose your cash

you wouldn’t switch a bathroom light on
if your hands were wet
so whatever you do
i’m telling you
don’t put your nana on the net

[chorus]
(all together now)
don’t put your granny on the internet
you’re asking for trouble
that’s what you’ll get
when she’s surfing you’re gonna fret
so don’t put your nana on the ‘net

[verse 2]
she couldn’t work the timer on her vcr
she still can’t get her freeview box to work
now you want her to be operating windows 10
her brain is gonna go berserk
when she’s surfing without google safe search on
you’ll break into a sweat (uh oh!)
so for your sake and mine, politely decline
and don’t put your nana on the ‘net

[chorus]
(i said now)
don’t put your granny on the internet
you’re asking for trouble
that’s what you’ll get
when she’s surfing you’re gonna fret
so don’t put your nana on the ‘net

[bridge]
there’ll be a palava
if she has to install java
she’ll get viruses and then you’ll start to wince

and when she emails
she’ll be giving her bank details
and all her pension to a nigerian prince

[spoken]
look, it’s very very simple, cl!ck it once and it’ll open
no! no! th+ that’s the recycle bin
what’s that in th+ we’ll delete that permanently
well i dunno what your password is, what you asking me for?
you don’t need to know what an “exy” file is
[bridge]
it would be desirous
if she didn’t get a virus
but she doesn’t understand, she’ll never learn

she will get spyware
if you don’t take care
she’ll ring 999 and you’ll be getting done by age concern

[chorus]
(oi)
don’t put your granny on the internet
you’re asking for trouble
that’s what you’ll get
when she’s surfing you’re gonna fret
so don’t put your nana on the
don’t put your nana on the
don’t put your nana on the ‘net

[outro]
don’t open the attachment
alright!

- the lancashire hotpots lyrics

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