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the leaving trains - bob hope lyrics

[verse 1]
there he goes with his roman nose
(bob hope)
there he goes with the solid gold
(bob hope)

look out, hope! she made it, here it comes
with a bunch of bad jokes and a stupid grin
with ronnie’s friend, and johnny’s friend, shrinky-d-ck’s friend and eisenhower’s friend

[verse 2]
you wanna laugh at the apocalypse?
talk to (bob hope)
you wanna sit over a beer and cigarettes
with (bob hope)?
or get a bullet in your hip or your heart
with (bob hope)?
he’s gonna drag down after {every end?}
(bob hope)

here he is out in vietnam
crawling back to korea, where he was
world war ii, {rowed a río???}
gonna take it out, and put ya in the battle – see him

[verse 3]
wanna get yourself in a cast in a minute?
(bob hope)
he’s got a bunch of casts of characters with him
(bob hope)
brings his war monger imitator friends
(bob hope)
always on the road with brooke shields and natalie cole
(bob hope)

[bridge]
“bob hope”: haha! how ’bout that army food? hahaha! ah no, it’s not like i don’t understand ’em. hahahaha! when i came here to vietnam i said to the general “hey, i don’t play to empty houses. where are the rest of the soldiers? i don’t care if they’re fighting.” hahahaha! so the generals brought ’em in and they came and they got real drunk and they saw me and margaret cho and left. hahahaha! on their way home i guess they got ambushed by those nerdy criminals in the bushes, those communists. hahahaha! i slayed ’em! haha i slayed ’em!

[verse 4]
he wants to speed to the end of the world
(bob hope)
he’s not even an american! for christ’s sakes!
(bob hope)
you wanna get the low-down on the end of the world?
torture (bob hope)
wanna get the joke? go ahead!
it’s (bob hope)

- the leaving trains lyrics

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