the masturbation song - the masturbation song lyrics
it’s sat-rday night and i’m alone, i’ve made no future plans,
so i sit me down and i pull out the little old man,
i ain’t got a girlfriend and i don’t have a date,
but that’s alright with me coz i love to m-st-rb-t-
back in the old days i’d buy some magazines, a six pack of beer and a tub of vaseline,
penthouse and hustler were as good as it could get,
but i hit the jackpot when i found the internet.
i’m beating my meat, pounding the pud, yeah i’m jacking off!
i got a good grip on my joystick, and it ain’t microsoft,
i’m flogging my dog, spanking the monkey, ain’t computers great!
yeah i’ll never leave home coz i love to m-st-rb-t-!
they got naked men and women, and all kinds of s-x galore,
blondes, brunettes and redheads and philippine wh-r-s,
no matter what you’re into, you’ll find your own dot com,
there’s even one for old chicks where i think i saw my mum!
yeah choke the chicken, rub the duck, yeah i’m talking low,
i got a good grip on my joystick and i can’t let it go,
row that skin boat, stroke the log, ain’t computers great!
yeah i’ll never leave home coz i love to m-st-rb-t-!
they say things like e commerce, with three “www”s and a dot,
they say it’s for information, but i’m here to say it’s not,
now they’re trading it on wall street, but they ain’t fooling me,
it’s al just a cover for the p-rn industry!
and i’m sh-gging my shaft, cleaning my gun, hammering the nail,
i’m a cybers-x site surfer, with my own email,
i’m petting my snake, jacking off, thank you old bill gates,
i’ll never leave home coz i love to m-st-rb-t-!
yeah i’ll never leave home coz i love to m-st-rb-t-!
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