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(the medic) - double sided lyrics

[chorus: alex marie brinkley]
help me i feel so numb
oh what have i become?
oh god i feel so numb
oh what have i become?

[verse 1: the medic]
yeah, i’m lost here
i don’t know if i belong here
mask on when i leave the house
it’s inside, but i’m bleeding out
i’m sick of putting on a fake smile
feel like i’m stuck up in 8 mile
tryna make it out, that’s b-rabbit
i wasn’t born to just be average
they talk about me like “he has it”
still, it doesn’t feel like it
y’all don’t know what my real life is
hoping that someone can realize it
questioning god like “why i go thru it?”
temperature hot, afraid i’mma lose it
cry in my room like “what am i doing?”
say what you want but i’m ‘bout to prove it
yeah, been done with this
she’ll never know what my struggle is
i have always been a troubled kid
everyday malfunctioning
isolated cause n0body here understands me
i slowly been losing my sanity
chasing my p-ssion while everything else is crashing
but this is what happens
you win some and you lose some
i don’t got nothing to choose from
they ask me “what have you done?”
depressing thoughts find a way in my head
start to wonder if i’ll fail while i’m laying in bed, dang

[chorus: alex marie brinkley]
help me i feel so numb
oh what have i become?
oh god i feel so numb
oh what have i become?

[verse 2: the medic]
reminiscing about all the friends i had once we had fun
i used to think it’d never end but backstab, they have done
truth is, i’m scared to love
don’t do this cause i’m scared to trust
people think that i leave quick
cause in the end i don’t care enough
that’s fair enough
imagine giving your all and getting nothing in return
you live and you learn
used to trust so many of y’all, now i’m feeling burnt and i know it hurts
feeling like there’s no real homies
everybody wanna switch on me
only thing that’s been here since day one is my pen and pad
this is all i really ever had
no one to reach out to
therapy, i was about to
not even a psychiatrist can tell me where my minds at
less talking, where the rhymes at?
shut up
sorry don’t mind that
voices all up inside my head been telling me how i’m bad
sad days, self doubt just fills me
anxiety could just k!ll me
but through it all man i know, i gotta keep on fighting
two sides to each person, everybody double sided…

[chorus: alex marie brinkley]
help me i feel so numb
oh what have i become?
oh god i feel so numb
oh what have i become?

- the medic lyrics

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