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the merry wives of windsor - seven drunk nights lyrics

well as i went home on monday night, as drunk as drunk could be, oh
outside, i spied a horse where my old horse should be, oh
i called to me wife, “would you kindly tell to me, oh?
why is there a horse outside where my own horse should be, oh?”

“ah, you’re drunk you’re drunk you
silly old fool so drunk you cannot see!
it’s only a milking cow me mother sent to me!”
it’s many a day i’ve traveled, a hundred miles of more
but a saddle on a milking cow i’ve never saw before

as i went home on tuesday night, as drunk as drunk could be, oh
i saw a coat behind the door where my own coat should be, oh
i called to me wife, “would you kindly tell to me, oh?
why is there another coat where my own coat should be, oh?”

“ah, you’re drunk you’re drunk you
silly old fool so drunk you cannot see!
it’s only a blanket that me mother sent to me!”
it’s many a day i’ve traveled, a hundred miles of more
but b+ttons on a blanket sure i never saw before

as i went home on wednesday night, as drunk as drunk could be, oh
i spied a smoking pipe where my own pipe should be, oh
i called to me wife, “would you kindly tell to me, oh?
why is there a smoking pipe where my own pipe should be, oh?”
“ah, you’re drunk you’re drunk you
silly old fool so drunk you cannot see!
it’s only a ladle that me mother sent to me!”
it’s many a day i’ve traveled, a hundred miles of more
but tobacco in a ladle sure i never saw before

as i went home on thursday night, as drunk as drunk could be, oh
i saw a pair of boots where my old boots should be, oh
i called to me wife, “would you kindly tell to me, oh?
why is there a pair of boots where my own boots should be, oh?”

“ah, you’re drunk you’re drunk you
silly old fool so drunk you cannot see!
it’s only a chamber pot me mother sent to me!”
it’s many a day i’ve traveled, a hundred miles of more
but laces on a chamber pot i’ve never saw before

as i went home on friday night, as drunk as drunk could be, oh
i saw a head inside my bed where my own head should be, oh
i called to me wife, “would you kindly tell to me, oh?
why is there a head in bed where my own head should be, oh?”

“ah, you’re drunk you’re drunk you
silly old fool so drunk you cannot see!
it’s only a baby boy my mother sent to me!”
it’s many a day i’ve traveled, a hundred miles of more
but whiskers on a baby boy i’ve never saw before
as i went home on sat+rday night, as drunk as drunk could be, oh
i saw two hands upon her chest where my old hands should be, oh
i called to me wife, “would you kindly tell to me, oh?
why is there a pair of hands where my own hands should be, oh?”

“ah, you’re drunk you’re drunk you
silly old fool so drunk you cannot see!
it’s only a bodice that me mother sent to me!”
it’s many a day i’ve traveled, a hundred miles of more
but fingers on a bodice sure i’ve never saw before

as i went home on sunday night, as drunk as drunk could be, oh
i saw a thing a ding where my old thing should be, oh
i called to me wife, “would you kindly tell to me, oh?
why is there a thing a ding where my own thing should be, oh?”

“ah, you’re drunk you’re drunk you
silly old fool so drunk you cannot see!
it’s only a cucumber me mother sent to me!”
it’s many a day i’ve traveled, a hundred miles of more
but a hairy+wrinkled cucumber i’ve never saw before

- the merry wives of windsor lyrics

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