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the muppets - interrogation song lyrics

[sam]
kermit, let’s begin
describe the day you played berlin
[constantine]
we rehe-rs-d and then we walked about
we ate bratwurst and sauerkraut
[jean pierre]
that night at 10 o’ three
were you inside the portrait gallery
[constantine]
from 10 o’ clock to 10 o’ four
was when we did the show’s encore
[sam]
hmm. frog, we’ve got our doubts
can you confirm your whereabouts?
[constantine]
my alibi is watertight
the audience saw me sing all night
[jean pierre]
monsieur, we know you did a crime
[constantine]
i was onstage that whole time
ask who sang rainbow connection
[sam and jean pierre]
thank you, kermit. no more questions

[jean pierre]
(spoken)
‘allo. i think it’s time for good cop, romantic cop

(sung)
miss piggy, you cleaned up locked inside
now’s your chance to save your hide
[miss piggy]
gentlemen, i did not know
it’s a crime to steal the show
[sam]
tell us how the art was taken
[jean pierre]
if you want to save your bacon
[miss piggy]
i haven’t seen your missing art
all i’ve stolen is audience hearts
[sam]
we can give you a plea deal
[jean pierre]
all you have to do is squeal
[miss piggy]
i’m not a thief, i don’t know how
all i’ve ever taken is a bow
[jean pierre]
we’ll catch the swine who did the job
[miss piggy]
give up the pig puns, creep!
jump in a lake! that’s my suggestion
[sam and jean pierre]
thank you, piggy. no more questions

[jean pierre]
i think she likes me

[sam]
you’re puns certainly aren’t helping the investigation

[jean pierre]
you know, uh…

i think they did it
[sam]
no they didn’t
[jean pierre]
yes they did and we can pin it
[sam]
if they did, how did they do it?
[jean pierre]
if they didn’t, how didn’t they didn’t?
[sam]
if they didn’t, then it’s easy ’cause they simply didn’t do it
[jean pierre]
if they did it then i knew it
but we’ve nothing that can prove it!

(spoken)
excuse me
bring in the purple guy with the schnoz

[sam]
do you remember what you did
that night you played madrid?
[gonzo]
i was hit by a raging bull
and rushed off stage to the hospital
[jean pierre]
gonzo, what do you know
about a sculpture theft at madrid’s prado?
[gonzo]
i never saw the stolen bust
i spent the night in bed concussed
[sam]
the truth, gonzo. the clock is tickin’
[gonzo]
if you don’t believe me, ask the chicken
[camilla]
(spoken)
bock bock?
[gonzo]
camilla was there. she’ll cooperate
[jean pierre]
madame, are you willing to corroborate?
[camilla]
(clucking)
[sam]
(spoken)
will somebody get this chicken out of here?!
[gonzo]
calm down, camilla. it’s a routine inspection
[sam and jean pierre]
thank you, gonzo. no more questions

[jean pierre]
let’s go from the start
what do you know about the stolen art?
[lew zealand]
i didn’t know there was a plan
[dr.t–th]
your accusation’s far out, man!
[bunsen]
chances of us committing a crime
are .0009
[swedish chef]
(mock swedish)
[jean pierre]
to help with our investigation
can you do a full translation?
[translator]
what the chef just said to you
was “schnoop do schnnop do schnoo”
it’s not swedish
[animal]
ah, ah, ah, ah!
[penguins]
wak, wak, wak, wak, wak…..
[fozzie]
uh….. i can do an elvis impression
[sam and jean pierre]
thank you, muppets. no more questions

[jean pierre]
they didn’t
[sam]
no they didn’t
[jean pierre]
there’s no way they did a crime
[sam]
they couldn’t, they’re too stupind
[jean pierre]
they’re not criminal masterminds
[sam]
we don’t know who did it, but we know who didn’t do it
[both]
so we know who didn’t do it
yes, we know who didn’t do it
[jean pierre]
(spoken)
they are incapable of being culpable

- the muppets lyrics

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