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the original cast of the other josh cohen - one cd lyrics

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[narrator josh]
ouch! that one stung, but i stuck it out
it’s been said that persistence pays!
and the singles are out in droves
’cuz they know they’ve only got six days!

desperation’s a cheap cologne
i struck out but was most unfair
here’s the part where i get home+

[ensemble]
home

[narrator josh]
what the h+ll?

+and nothing i owned was there!

[josh cohen]
some b+st+rd robbed my place
and i guess he liked my taste
all he left for me?

[narrator josh]
left for me?
[all]
one cd
which i got for free!
one cd
neil diamond three

[josh cohen]
glass on the floor he caked with mud
and my leftover angel hair!
it’s unclear if it’s sauce or blood
that he wiped on my underwear!

[josh cohen and narrator josh]
and my favorite [?]
all my bedding was strewn about!
went for help from the police
they suggested that i move out!

[josh cohen]
in life i just can’t win
i was broke before he broke in
now all that’s left for me?

[narrator josh]
left for me?
[josh cohen and narrator josh]
one cd
and some kfc

[all]
one cd
neil diamond three

[ensemble]
all the good songs are on one and two!

[josh cohen]
i always knew i’d get robbed
i used to argue with the landlord all the time!

mr. khanna darris, you have to put a lock on the front door of the building. i’m on the first floor!

[mr. khanna darris]
the apartment door is impenetrable; i made it myself. just make sure to latch window

[josh cohen]
i latch window, but no one’s gonna climb through it if they can just walk right in the building and bust down my door!

[mr. khanna darris]
just latch window, no one can get through your door, no problem!
[ensemble]
problem!
there’s a dent in your front door
that wasn’t there before

problem!
when you came home your front door
was open (was open, was open, was open!)

[josh cohen]
oh, thank god!
+oh, come on!

[narrator josh]
can you believe he even stole my one p+rno: overs+xed injury lawyers!
and he left the empty dvd case, which just added insult to injury
+lawyers!

[josh cohen and narrator josh]
took my id for the gym
took my visa and my printer fax

[josh cohen]
in a way, the joke was on him

[narrator josh]
all my credit cards were maxed!

[josh cohen]
won’t miss the gym for sure!

[narrator josh]
and no one faxes anymore!
but all that’s left for me?

[josh cohen]
left for me?

[josh cohen and narrator josh]
all that’s left?

[ensemble]
one cd

[josh cohen and narrator josh]
one cd!

[ensemble]
neil diamond three

[josh cohen and narrator josh]
not two!

[ensemble]
a case for a dvd

[josh cohen and narrator josh]
it’s true, and an all+around sh+tty february!

[all]
february

oh!

for me!

- the original cast of the other josh cohen lyrics

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