the real hatred - 06.01.18 (e) lyrics
five days after new year’s day, 2018, i stood at a bridge, watching the trains go by
shivering
drunk, i wept, and the lights sparkled in my tear filled eyes
it wasn’t a cry for help
i’d tried the ‘help’ i had been offered
no
this was a decisive action
and at the same time, not
for here i stand, before you
alive
fueled by a hatred for life, and above all, myself
drunk, and sick
on the bridge
i weep
my eyes
are glued
to the tracks
and the trains
and death
fills my heart
and my mind
and i shake
on the edge
of this precipice
ready
for
rushing past with no remorse
i have set myself on course
for a gruesome final stand
to free myself by my own hand
all my life i swallowed pain
never shall i do again
all this f+cking suffering
i am f+cking leaving
death shall be my only friend
unlike those c+nts who left me here
all alone with no help
i’ll k!ll them first and burn in h+ll
why should i try and stay alive?
no one would care if i died
my mangled corpse shall portray
all my f+cking worldly pain
and when my family weep and cry
down from h+ll my voice shall rise
happiness i’d found at last
now that i have f+cking passed
so to you i tell you this
life is f+cking sh+t
so do what is right and true
and f+cking k!ll yourself too
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