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the red krayola - stand-up lyrics

i washed my hair with beer until i swallowed one
the thought of it is enough to make me gag
i tried to wash it down in various ways
[?], gargling, filling my mouth, swishing it around

i heard that something that is hard to swallow
can leave an impression at the back of the throat
enough to sensation that feels as though the article is stuck
i can corroborate this
there have been times when it felt as though
a hair was still on the back of my tongue
long after i got it out or down

the sensation has been that intense that i stuck my finger down my throat to shift one so i could swallow it or work it up by reverse reticulation
where the tongue is rubbed repeatedly against the upper palate or along the t++th
or by hacking

this is not funny
the gag reflex is difficult to override
there have been doctors who specialize in treating swallowing disorders

the queen mother of great britain has had to be treated more than once
once it was a fishbone
i once had a fishbone stuck in my throat
from a yellow+tail 5 centimeters long
the bone, not the fish
i caught it off of florida
the yellow+tail is also known as jack
i drove to a hospital the doctor said i had a bone stuck in my throat
when he reached in, i gagged, every time i gagged
he grew impatient said it had to come out that it could come lose, go down, that it was that large it could puncture my esophagus he warned me
if he couldn’t get it with forceps he would have to take me upstairs, anesthetize me and operate
my gag threshold remained what it had been despite his warnings
before operating he decided to try a muscle relaxant
hoping as he said that it would lower my threshold
it slowed me down but i still gagged
he got angry
a passing nurse saw what was up
gave him a longer forceps and he got it first try

- the red krayola lyrics

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