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the scary mooveez - hallmark holiday hell lyrics

i’ve been stuck in this room for what feels like a year
and the christmas cheer’s become my worst fear
the tv’s on, the remote’s gone
and it’s hallmark movies, playing all day long
the plots are all the same, i swear i’ve seen this before
city girl meets a small+town guy, they bake cookies, and more
she’s always so ambitious, but her heart’s a little cold
till she finds love in his flannel shirt—and warmth, or so i’m told

another single mom, she’s working too hard
but here comes prince charming with a christmas card
there’s always a bakery, or a family inn
whеre magic happens, and true lovе begins
i’ve seen the baker fall in love with the prince
a small+town mechanic and a fashion model wince
she left her big job for the life of her dreams
but i swear to god, i’ve seen this ten times, it seems!

i’m in hallmark holiday h+ll, can’t you see?
with the snowflakes falling and the perfect family
every plot’s the same, it’s a yuletide trap
but i can’t turn it off, i’m stuck in this cr+p!
it’s a hallmark holiday h+ll, and i can’t escape
same story, same actors, no change in the tape
hallmark’s not just on your tv screen
it’s a nightmare, man, it’s the devil’s dream!
the snow falls soft and fluffy, no traffic on the street
and why is every love triangle resolved so fast and sweet?
they never miss the christmas eve parade or the annual ball
and no one ever questions why these people love the mall!!
i’m losing my mind, every plot’s the same
switch the jobs, switch the names—it’s still the same game
where’s the drama, where’s the suspense?
oh wait—it’s christmas joy again and it makes no sense!

i’ve seen christmas house one and two
and candace cameron bure—yep, she’s in quite a few!
lacey chabert in pride, prejudice, and mistletoe
and don’t forget a royal christmas—whoa!
danica mckellar’s back in christmas at dollywood
she’s spreading that cheer like only hallmark could
the nine lives of christmas? yeah, i’ve lived all nine
and the christmas cottage is where i draw the line
andrew walker, casey manderson, and tyler hynes
they’re always the guy under the holiday signs
christmas under wraps and the christmas train
they all look the same and it’s driving me insane!

i’ve finally had enough, i’m breaking free
but as i open the door, what do i see?
no winter wonderland, no snowflake swirl
just fire and brimstone in a h+llish whirl
the streets are lined with garlands and bows
but beneath them, flames and tortured souls
i realize in horror, as my heart begins to swell
this isn’t my home—i’m in holiday h+ll!
i’m in hallmark holiday h+ll, there’s no escape
with a thousand santas and the same d+mn fate
every movie repeats, like a festive curse
but now it’s forever—and it just got worse!
the holiday music never fades away
i’m trapped in this place where christmas will stay
in hallmark holiday h+ll, i’ve lost control
with no remote, no peace, and now i’ve learned no soul!
i’m in holiday h+ll

i’m in hallmark holiday h+ll!

- the scary mooveez lyrics

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