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the scary mooveez - joe bob briggs, the cowboy of cult cinema lyrics

[chorus]
joe bob briggs, he’s the cowboy of cult cinema
the host who’s always got something to say
joe bob briggs, we are just so glad that ya
decided to come back again to play!

can’t recall when i first heard joe bob’s name
he became infamous in my youth
when basket case hit video, he took half the blame
and i loved him cuz he always told the truth

he wrote of movies i adored, the strange, the weird, the odd
not blockbusters churned out by the studio machine
didn’t matter if they were cheap, hokey, or flawed
unlike those dog+of+the+week guys, he wasn’t mean!

[chorus]
joe bob briggs, he’s the cowboy of cult cinema
the host who’s always got something to say
joe bob briggs, we are just so glad that ya
decided to come back again to play

i didn’t see his first show and don’t think too many did
you couldn’t watch the movie channel for free
but he really stole my heart, along with lots of other kids
hosting monstervision late nights on t.n.t.!
the network cut the movies, for content and for time
which occasionally could miff and annoy
however, i found that i didn’t really mind
cuz i’d seen most and joe bob’s riffs brought so much joy

it was like film school as he spewed out obscure facts
you’d be hard+pressed to dig up in those days
and then there were his jokes, he delivered without tact
in his corny and his hickish joe bob way

he had his drive in totals before k!ll counts were a thing
you can’t say that he didn’t innovate
and he had his s+xy mailgirls who were window dressing
although that’s not to say that they weren’t great

[chorus]
joe bob briggs, he’s the cowboy of cult cinema
the host who’s always got something to say
joe bob briggs, we are just so glad that ya
decided to come back again to play

suddenly, this good ol’ boy just vanished in the night
he never had the chance to bid ado
the show continued briefly but it wasn’t really right
then the screen went dark, and monstervision was through
he popped up on some dvds, but was mostly out of sight
for two decades that were arduous and long
then he found a home on shudder, and was back in the limelight
to undo some of ted turner’s evil wrongs!

[chorus]
joe bob briggs, he’s the cowboy of cult cinema
the host who’s always got something to say
joe bob briggs, we are just so glad that ya
decided to come back again to play!

john p. brennan sings the theme
sometimes pops up on the screen
austin jennings directs from the sides
yuki designed the sets
but he’s treated like a gopher
so he sometimes takes joe bob for a ride!

plus he has a real+life mail girl, and darcy is her name
they’ve got the vibe of old sonny and cher!
she rolls her eyes and fl+sters him, but loves him all the same
and it’s cool to see what costumes she will wear!

joe bob may be the soul, but darcy is the heart
that beats within our mutant family
the movies are uncut and the very best part
is joe bob can rant longer than he did on t.n.t.!
[chorus]
joe bob briggs, he’s the cowboy of cult cinema
the host who’s always got something to say
you can watch him on shudder right alongside darcy
who sometimes gets him to cosplay!

- the scary mooveez lyrics

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