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the simplistic poet - young, dumb & 21 lyrics

the simple expressions i leave behind are a test i read to find the intentions of those who have problems with my mind when i am not even at my best so why are so many jealous of the rest?
i am as oblivious as my own inexperience but i have the creativity to find my own ability out of my awareness of what you might have missed
my hell is what i see in the mind of my reflections’ you tried helping but my ceiling confined all my intentions to lies telling of life needing some kind of perfection who likes selling the pride from succeeding in life for attention to find selfless trust i invest in to buy more cleaning wipes so the inspection of my mirrors can stay persistent
i pretend i’m fine when tired eyes frequent like mine send reminding signs of spending nights i’ve threatened my life intended like finding consent to try dying ending my time until i felt convinced like i did it
but the decision came while i was sleeping and vision changed like i was dreaming i tried escaping the sight i was seeing of my mind leaving behind my physical being then tried making a smile like a goodbye greeting but realized by facing my eyes while not breathing if i die hating i die cheating and my fight would die with its story against it
living young, dumb & 21
i have overdosed on drugs
and if popping 20 uppers over
the lethal limit doesn’t get me sober
then i may need to die before i
even consider moving forward
but uncertainty
means the world to me
that’s why i cannot fully
believe in anything
real that’s said to me
no matter if you’re a friend to me
you’ve already ended me
looking outside my window i wish
the sunlight flooding the floor and my skin
with a warmth so touching it makes my eyes itch
to crawl through them to be where my mind lives
i wish i still could feel good like i did
before the food became flavorless
before the colors became indifferent
before a nice day was a waste of breaths
before joy was a mistaken sense
open my window to let fresh air in
something about its motion felt caring
i thought i told the world to quit staring
at me like i am just fucking embarr-ssing
i could be a force of nature given encouragement
i could reach for the stars given some nourishment
i would speak for myself but i just fucking hate this
i would be something else if this is existence
how can i feel proud to live when shit limits?
now what more does it take to feel the same difference?
now that i’m awake i don’t get to witness
a world of pleasures in pursuit i just missed it
a world of treasures lost in oceans of wishes
a world to say never to anyone within it
who doesn’t surrender to its magnificence
nothing gets better if it’s already finished
the picture i’m gathering is already diminished
i want to torch it and forget i’m still in this
i no longer waste wishes on insignificant
rocks floating in an ocean of wishes
soaking up the sun to reach for the stars
feeling impressed like critters with cars
stick your head out the window and then back up your -ss
as soon as something shows us what we really are
lagging the present and stuck fixing the past
the lines are already here waiting for art
just needed color but it all went into the crayons
these stereotypes can melt in your hands
it’s summer cuz’ it’s hot as fuck
friends wanna swim and watch fireworks in the park
i just wanna blow some shit up
we take a ride to a gravel pit not too far
with barrels of water in the back of a truck
gravel pit neighbors want to see who’s louder
but they don’t know how to make this powder
when i’m done making this crater just add water
now we have a private pool and it’s only getting hotter
basically my friends and i
we party like we gonna die
cuz’ the shit we do we just might
our crew might be tiny
but we don’t take shit lightly
if you’re lucky like me
you get vip
after all we might be 90
by the time we finally
legalize weed
and that’s why we
all got a lot of debts to pay
i grew up bailing hay
i blew up propane tanks
got chewed up day by day
too dumb with failing grades
too numb erased the pain
too much hate to take
too much change to make
to want to stay the same
choose not to take the blame
but somehow i’m not dead yet
i hate hearing glenn beck
i’m not a redneck
i’m not a pretty boy
i’m not a city boy
i’m not your kitty toy
i’m not here to laugh at
i’m not nearly half bad
i bought beer 30 pack and
i got pure dank hash and
my thoughts steer i p-ss that
like shots cleared on snapchat
find what veered off track and
lie down fearing what crashed and
cry out tears of that act
eyes see years to flashback
and out of time to hold on
to the life i tried for so long
to be made right for someone
nothing left inside the good’s gone
i don’t feel right but i see no wrong
decisions that i don’t know from
i learn every mistake don’t -ssume
you need to show me anything i do
that seems unhealthy shit to you
if you feel the need to point it out
i may not make good choices now
but i still hate the way my voice sounds
these silent screams the noise is loud
in my head i can’t destroy the crowd
of a thousand fingers pointing at me
cheers to fail and mocking at the
thought of any success congrats be
to the way these walls still trap me
i don’t know how to feel badly
for myself but i keep laughing
at everything that hurts enough
to see my own burns and cuts
it’s what helps me want to learn to trust
i can still go until i earn true love
or i just hate until i turn to dust
but i will break through this ceiling
even if it k!lls me i’m dealing
with whatever the hell i’m feeling
i punch until my fists bleed
i run until i can’t breathe
i jump out of this back seat
fly high enough i can see
my life took a taxi
i slide on the concrete
i don’t know if i can leave
but i need to fill the empty
shell of scars intending
to find the heart sending
the idea that still i can be
right for someone is tempting
life is so unrelenting
die to the happy ending
try to be the best thing
but i still keep on defending
somehow i still keep thinking
in ways that stop the sinking
into my grave i’m not swimming
so i just tread the water grinning
as the sun begins to rise
i keep looking at the prize
look forward until i realize
the damage it does to this life
and as i carelessly boil my eyes
i can still see through the demise
like a mushroom cloud in the sky
daring me to take what’s mine
enter the blast and have a good time
exit the past and enter the light
i don’t know what it’s like
because i’ve been stuck inside
this bomb shelter where i survive
to watch the next destruction wave
extinguish the last chances to fight
for another hopeful day
to end with a fucked up night
we can watch the sun go down
after the world ignores the same
issues make it go round
like a spiral down the drain
i know what that’s about
i also have myself to blame
i let myself get burned up
by the sun just to change
the song as it got turned up
loud enough to feel the pain
how many trips does it take
to the emergency room to feel awake
i don’t want to be this person
people care and i just hurt them
i take it all and leave it worsen
all the time wasted on me
i won’t let it say goodbye
you get robbed but that is not me
i will no longer run and hide
for those who will try to stop me
these scars will never fully heal
but the answers that they’ve got me
make the shit they say a lot less real
and as the burns begin to peel
a new path becomes revealed
a one way trip straight for
not feeling ashamed for
not driving or having good grades or
not knowing why i am always blamed for
being too tired for my calculus homework i
already learned three chapters before i
showed up to cl-ss show on the board i
could already fully understand
but i could not find a way to p-ss
everything can end all too fast
i’m quite the original
one of a kind individual
like the best type of criminal
i fill in this hole i fell in to know
more useless shit to grow
now surfacing like integrals
now worsening i wish to open it to show i won’t miss this hopeless interest only inches to hold left in this rope i twisted sown into the bone of my wrist to pull
you out of my thoughts i hope are still possible you ought to know my want to know you is unstoppable
but love was never there for me
unfairness seems fair to me
in d-mnation’s parody
we cut our wrists with dollar bills
to save money for grandma’s pills
we know how to forget what is known
because that fatal truth is what really k!lls
we excel at ignoring free knowledge
the thought of humanity is overblown
you won’t need to go to college
to find out if you’ve really grown
i need someone to check my math
because the world around me does not compute
i need to slow down real fucking soon
if i plan to keep the thoughts i have left
before they get consumed by stress
my heart wants to climb out of my chest
home is where the heart is and my heart knows
it is trapped here where i don’t belong
might as well make myself at home
in a world of warmth that reeks of burnt plastic
what’s left of thoughts are nearly gone
we’re loud enough and so well adapted
i can give you the answer
but only if you let me
so let’s wait until cancer
k!lls me and forget me
i never stood a chance or
you just can’t accept me
i’m high above this place from smoking weed i just spectate shit like i’m on dmt my mind just sits and waits so i set it free like hide and seek
it’s like i’m hitting these walls that i’m trapped in- i still will need all that i can get and i try to feel but i’m falling back in my mind that’s kept me
i am a fucked up nerd i have the fucking words time to trust what i rehe-rs- in my fucking verse that i fucking hurt and find what can work and shove it up your unwinding distorted insides i ashore that you must now come toward the light before it transforms to torture the night just to burn us all more and ignite the whole earth or contort life’s rebirth and get done with me first
hollow me out and fill me with doubt then follow me down to the path i have found that can allow what you should know by now
don’t be the next smart–ss fool
don’t read the text “heart chat tool”
don’t need it yet- heart attacks soon
don’t sleep so beds are cr-p too
don’t eat it yet the scr-ps are food
don’t be upset the laughs are truths
won’t be the best match for you
won’t relieve stress- ask for proof
so keep eating shit and puke
go sleepless without food
believing in shit about you
bleeding in one big profound stew
a messy c-cktail of disaster at its best-a breadcrumb trail to track its travel left to unveil the laughs and madness that is this
shoulda-woulda-coulda but didn’t forget it so just submit it
stood up to admit this is so specifically elicit
mind of a death star designer
i’m a mensa qualifier
my separate calling to be brighter
the gr-ss is always greener on the other side or
that’s what my momma used to say
to try to get me to appreciate life
but life turns out as nothing great
so i will spend my time how i like
green becomes 50 shades of grey
and the gr-ss is red this time
i am either tripping or watching the blood stain
the carpeted floor so what the fuck did i take?
i have said i go big or go home
but there is really no place i know
here i feel i can call home so
so i feel comfort when death is close
i enjoy life like that the most
so please excuse my overdose
and i will hate my every decision
as i continue to act like i’m missing
the capabilities i have as i listen
to everyone’s concerns or worried visions
as if i must be on some mission
and my mistakes are worse as a result
because i am different it must be my fault
so let me continue to laugh it off and
avoid disappointment and say i can’t
while i savor every thought of this plan
maybe it is best not to understand
maybe no one should meet my dad
with his mouse shit filled silverware drawers
and if he hears a car i hope it’s not yours
as loaded guns hang above his doors
and beer cans flood his floors
while deer carc-sses hang in his garage
to get you used to the smell of garbage
and i guess that filth does me good
helps me appreciate life as i should
the day will come for the world to see it’s
shit is forcing life to leave it’s
crowned jewels and i don’t need it’s
charms so you’d better believe it’s
time is burning up and its speed is
quickly catching up to my sleepless
mind of things i spend relentlessly
improving upon but i guess that’s me
my childhood was filled with rage
and fear and happiness faked
so now my hard work will start to pay
off so now i feel i cannot wait
to witness what i came to be
at the prime age of 23
meanwhile let’s end last year
i am not the fool i appear
i am nothing you need to fear
i conquered my demons so here
is my every mistake on a plate
you think i’m funny i’m too sincere
i am all too real to be insane
don’t take me serious as it may
make no difference anyway
i talk to myself everyday
i look in the mirror at my face
i tell myself i look fucking dead
but maybe that’s just inside my head
i just turn to look the other way
and continue my trip to my grave
i have already been that low
and it does scare me now that i know
i have accepted my fate before
i accepted death many times more
20 pills meant to stimulate
and focus was not my intent
i got to feel something great
i no longer cared if i was dead
then let myself just slip away
the next few hours the effect
was not at all the same
convulsing drenched in sweat
they began to puff up and inflate
my veins as i trembled in pain
for that entire day
alone and so ashamed
i still imagine the sense
that i would not hesitate
to look within as i take
the roar of these flames
in this fire i started to make
i always cheered for hate
even as a kid i played
to help the bad guy crush what’s left
right down to the final breaths
of his very best friends
i do not know what i am
i don’t even understand
why it’s so hard to escape
i just know how you won’t relate
to this uneasy state
i have a shoulder to bleed on
but i no longer need one
you may know a little but not even
enough to give me the reason
i will fight until i have it
and it would break this habit
if i could know it was right for
me to give this tortured life for
someone who i would die for
my only remaining hope
is to not die still all alone
because that is all i’ve known
i will never be at home
until someone to love is shown
so my fight can become her own
i hope someone enjoys this paper
i am explicit in nature exhibiting animalistic behavior
i can’t sing but write me (not as exciting…)
yeah just fucking try me (i dare you)
roses are red
violets are blue
fuck the government
fuck going to school
fuck paying my debt
fuck the entire human race
the whole fucking universe is a waste of space

- the simplistic poet lyrics

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