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the third-rates - unfortunate lyrics

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[spoken intro: cory]
come one, come all, to the amazing teller of the future! now, now, there’s plenty of future to go around, and tons to tell!

[verse 1: cory]
monday: you’ll get sick, with a nature a full (?) disease (blegh!)
tuesday: your disk will slip, corroding it to nothing (ahh!)
wednesday: you’ll get up, wake up, wrapped up everything (uhh, let’s see here)
thursday: you’ll get up thinking “5 in the morning” (god dammit!)

not trying to yank your chain, not trying to pick ya brain
don’t shoot the messenger, ’cause you’re f+cked, i’m f+cked
we’re like thе netheracom [?], ain’t more i could’vе done
so repeat after me, ’cause you’re f+cked, i’m f+cked

(rap, hop, do+si+do, ready, come on, here we go)

[chorus: cory]
i’m from the future to tell you you’re+ how nice, goodbye!
bred to life and mortified
i wish i had better news
but i got zero, zilch, nada, zip+ why?!

say goodbye to your love
adiós, take care, bon voyage, and farewell
the reaper’s punching your time+card
and you’re out of time
[post+chorus: cory]
the end is nigh
and you’re
gonna

[verse 2: cory]
friday: you’re hired, let’s get a big full out [?] minimum wage (oh, oh, oh)
sat+rday: you’ll do a test and have some weird side effects (oh, oh, oh)
sunday: won’t notice, be anything out of the ordinary (oh, oh, oh)
monday: you’ll definitely start to feel like something’s off again(oh, oh, oh)

little thing’s like heightened spell, sweaty b+lls, secretic gel
later you’ll start spouting limbs and it’ll f+cking hurt like h+ll
after your legs fall off, and you lose consciousness
you’ll awake bound and gagged in some dude’s dirty bas+m+nt
and that sucks

[bridge: cory]
and now i told your ass is super f+cked
ain’t playing man, you outta luck
‘fraid you have to use something
or you can suck my cloudy +honk+

[chorus: cory]
i’m from the future to tell you you’re+ how nice, goodbye!
bred to life and mortified
i wish i had better news
but i got zero, zilch, nada, zip+ why?!
say goodbye to your love
adiós, take care, bon voyage, and farewell
the reaper’s punching your time+card
and you’re out of time

and you’re
gonna

[spoken break: unknown, cory]
(ah+hyuck, hyuck, hyuck, hyuck, hyuck, hyuck, hyuck, hyuck…,)
step on up, step on up, we got an amazing prize here! they got a vampire and a [?]. you trade the vampire [?]. oh no, here we go, we got a winner! oh no!
[laughing, unintelligible]

[bridge: cory]
i’m from the future to tell you you’re+
ah+hah
i wish i had better news
but i got+ none!

[chorus: cory]
i’m from the future to tell you you’re+ how nice, goodbye!
bred to life and mortified
i wish i had better news
but i got zero, zilch, nada, zip+ why?!

say goodbye to your love
adiós, take care, bon voyage, and farewell
the reaper’s punching your time+card
and you’re out of time

- the third rates lyrics

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