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the thought - 2013 (mac miller remix) lyrics

[verse]
what sent you over the edge?
was all our love going over your head?
now you got me crying as i’m going to bed
everything is worse ’cause my cousin is dead
i stomached seeing dad just to see you to rest
it’s so far in the past, but i’m not over the test
i had to put you on blast, the first time i wrote this
’cause you died to fast and i’m too self-focused
but i’m asking jason, what was it you facing that did this to you?
i know your heart was breaking and i get that you’re addicted too
but how were you mistaken by the dosage or positioning?
ending all your aching, ’cause no one there was listening?
i get it man, i really f-cking do
your uncle bill raped a dude and they ignore me too
but i can’t imagine you, cuz, as smart as you were
would end your life on purpose and not see through the blur
i keep my face stern but in truth i’m just hurt
why the f-ck didn’t you just call me first?
there i go, all mad again, questions you can’t answer
hope at least you get to talk to jane, in the ever-after
hope one day i’ll see y’all there and we can share some laughter
and maybe jane can say if it’s a bishop or a pastor
that b-st-rdized our family, that chain of abuse
i’m trashed under the gravity, but thinking of you
when mac befell his tragedy, you were on my mind
not for lack of empathy, or the p-ssage of time
but the way it seems the brightest gotta try to be blind
when the darkest moments get them going over the line
or over the edge… i don’t mean to mix metaphors
except depressed, ’cause we can’t jam anymore
and we never hit record on the moments that we did
-ssuming you had time to wait, until i wasn’t just a kid
but i hit nineteen without you, was i naive not to doubt you?
it’s 2019, that’s six years without you
that’s a couple hundred songs that you’ll never hear
took reality to teach me that was my greatest fear
i still ain’t drinking beer, cousin!
but i got a soft spot for hornsby’s at the function
you probably got the last copy of the reset b-tton
didn’t let the br-ss stop me, though
i’m writing something just for you

- the thought lyrics

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