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the tommy lasorda experience - one through thirteen lyrics

number one, a photograph of bob hope
number two, catheters and colostomy bags and supplies

three, access to a catholic priest
preferably one with a gambling or drinking problem
four, six pairs of handcuffs
number five, z.z. top’s “el loco”
first edition vinyl in good condition
no scratches
number six, one cheerleader outfit, any color
number seven, at least 50 square feet of high quality black vinyl
eight, one gallon trichlorohydrate
nine, a sri lankan passport for an 8 year old boy
i understand the costs involved in this, i’ll pay extra

ten, a prosthetic limb, either leg or arm
eleven, two dvd copies of my fair lady
twelve, chest x+rays from a female
between the ages of 11 and 18

and thirteen, a car
so i can get out of here and never come back

thirteen, a car. maybe a motorcycle
so i can leave this place and never come back

- the tommy lasorda experience lyrics

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