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the tommy lasorda experience - the hot chocolate urine of shame lyrics

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it started off as a nice december day
but as if to portend things to come on my journey
i’m driving on the pennsylvania turnpike
in a full on hailstorm

what’s more, the large coffee
from dunkin donuts
the even larger coffee on
the jersey turnpike
and the hot chocolate i got
at some pennsylvania backwater gas station
have gotten together and decided to announce
their presence

with a capital p! yeah!

i’m no stranger to relieving myself
in less than standard conditions
h+ll, it’s practically a family tradition
and 50 million truckers can’t be wrong

so using the hail as an excuse for my behavior
i took the one quarter full cup of hot chocolate
and carefully topped it off with grade a urine
steering with my knees
displaying the grasp of the concept of cause and effect
that a six year old might possess
i realized that i now had a steaming cup of chocolate pee in my cupholder
gee, i hadn’t thought this far ahead

well ….
i’ve gone this far without succumbing to the logical urge to pull over
i’ll simply roll down the window
dump out the contents
and dispose of the cup later

just dump out the contents. in a hailstorm

the wind blew it all back in my face, and then some
doused with the hot urine of shame
i was also fortunate enough to take
a few decent chunks of hail off the noggin
luckily i was able to clean my face with
armor all wipes i found in the back seat

- the tommy lasorda experience lyrics

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