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the warp zone - election 2016 recap rap (trump vs clinton) lyrics

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[verse 1]
more than 7 years itchin’ since that ’08 election
although mrs. clinton’s mission started back in ’47
up to this year, her nomination woulda been a given
if the land of ben & jerry hadn’t served up competition

ol’ bernie sanders, the veteran senator
left+leaner standing for the 99 percen+(a)+ters
tried to change the game, planted revolution seeds
that revolution only overthrew our facebook feeds

was a tight race through all the primaries and caucusеs
iowa, new hampshire, no pundit coulda thought of this
’til clinton pulled ahеad, mostly thanks to superdelegates
then california, south dakota, bernie said “to h+ll with this”

south philadelphia, it took a turn
some emails leaked and schultz felt the bern
kaine joined the ticket, ’cause i guess he was around?
got the democrats locked now
sit your ass down!

there’s way more comin’ and you bet that we got plenty
before we choose a chief to lead us into 2020
we’ll check in with the right
but right now, sing it demi
[chorus]
bear witness to our democracy in action
as we elect our commander and chief
it’s quite the process, deciding who to pick
seems convoluted, but that’s just politics

[verse 2]
maybe the republicans could have the next president
but first they had to whittle down a herd of wild elephants
seemed like a circus there, with 17 candidates
and more flat white bread than
subway sandwiches

jeb was a mess
but kasich was ok
and that md from md coulda used mdma
little marco, singin’ carly, and the zodiac cruzer
but little did they know they would all be
hyge loosas

celebrity and businessman, made of money, sprayed orange
hair piece, little hands
i+wrote into a corner
ruthless in the primaries
rhetoric was vicious
debates felt like broken families arguing at christmas
[trump +amidst gibberish from fellow republicans+: look at these hands. are they small hands. i guarantee you, there is no problem. i guarantee]

then they went to cleveland, h+ll of a convention
you got cruz boos, roll petitions, blatant plagiarism
and the cherry on top, puttin’ pence into the mix
aww, christie, we can cheer you up, let’s take it to the bridge

hooh, made it through, found the diamonds in the rough
now down to two candidates: clinton v trump
well, there’s other people too
but they’re not relevant enough

[chorus]
bear witness to our democracy in action
as we elect our commander and chief
although the process hasn’t been ideal
clinton and trump, now it’s time we must get real

[verse 3]
coming down the stretch, we got a pair of white people
some say the better is the lesser of two evils
one of them’s a cyborg who’s good at losing emails
the other is a loud mouth who can’t connect with females

ask megyn kelly or rosie o’ donnell
heidi klum, brande roderick, or alicia machado
at chivalry, a failure, like
trump ice water
don’t forget he said he’d even bang his own daughter
but clinton stays quiet+you could even say “classified”
some information can’t be found upon her website
go and check the facts or offer up a donation
and if you got uranium, take it to her foundation

trump’s got one of those but
really, it’s a piggy bank
for buying self+portraits while choking down his fizzy drink
his twitter’s hard to handle, quoting generals from axis
this new jersey general don’t even pay his taxes

but clinton’s in the clear, she doesn’t pay people off
or get involved with wall street+
+cough++cough+
d+mn, this pneumonia’s got us both feelin’ awful
but nothing can compare to that benghazi debacle

at least she’s familiar with a bit of foreign policy
at trump uni, they don’t even teach you about geography
his unifying cause is a literal divider
he wants to make his very own great wall of “gina”

sure, they got flaws, but we can find a way to settle this
with educated conversation emanating eloquence
talk about the issues like aleppo and obamacare
taxes, environment, and terrorism everywhere

nope
it’s all arguing and threatening to sue
demonizing, contradicting, mangling the truth
jail threats, wikileaks, whining over time
and the mic worked fine
at least it did in ’05

so go vote america, we gotta do this properly
to get us back in shape, we have to exercise democracy
we’re near the finish line, this is where we need our stamina
but if we fall apart, well, i guess there’s always canada

- the warp zone lyrics

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