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the weather station - humanhood lyrics

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[verse 1]
maybe if i go down to the water
maybe i can get back into my body
it’s a hot day, sh+tty
there’s weeds in the breakers
there’s kids throwing tantrums and circling teenagers
i was changing in the bushes
strip the clothes from my thighs
crouching for a second, bare my skin to the sky
sweating, hidden in the cottonwood and vines
my mind glitching, kinda
thinking dark thoughts lately
and maybe i should admit to somebody
it’s been feeling cut off lately

[verse 2]
thinking, was i a person?
all i ever knew was i, every morning
that i wake up in two eyes
i walked down the beach
squinting in the light
across the dirty sand, еxposed

[chorus]
carrying this humanhood
i went carrying this humanhood
i’ve been carrying this humanhood
tryna makе good on it
[verse 3]
you always tell me i would walk without grace
something awkward in how i brush the hair from my face
it could be better if i’d just listen, if i’d change
i slip into the cold shock of waves and dive under

[verse 4]
roll, and look up from under, blurred light
blue, white, blue, white
ripples that smash
shore into sky, shore into sky
weightless for a second, i swim
just breathing

[chorus]
i’ve been carrying this humanhood
i’m carefully carrying this humanhood
ungracefully carrying this body
that’s tired from carrying a mind

[bridge]
this citizenship in this personal life, i guess
this citizenship in this history, in this moment in time
this fragile life, one of a generation that might end this world i guess
n0body tells you how to bear this
was i really as you say?
untruthful, untrustworthy you tell me
or always falling out of my body when i’m afraid
always afraid, can’t seem to stay
bear the weight of it, i guess
[chorus]
carrying this humanhood
it looked like a burden
carrying this humanhood
(for lack of decision, too mangled a living)
carrying this humanhood
(too entangled a vision)
sacred though
precious, oh



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