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the yogscast - a fairytale of sipsco lyrics

it’s christmas eve bro
at sipsco hq
i’m all alone here, just like every year
i pour myself a drink
a pint of mountain dew
i raise my gl-ss up high, and toast our old friend guy.

oh who’s that bearded one
outside, dressed like a b-m
my god, it’s freezing
but he’s not squealing
he’s got a plan i see
to build a factory
won’t make it on his own
well i can change that…

we’ll have girls big as cars
and a pool full of cash
now, the fun never ends
throw your fears in the trash
when the first block of dirt leaves the factory floor
they’ll be crying and begging and screaming for more

we can do it! hooray!
best dirt ever made
in a rainbow of flavours from bacon to lime
the best christmas ever, shame about the weather
we’ll hang tinsel and baubles and drink some mulled wine!

pool boys from the interview chamber choir’ll be singing ‘sips co hooray!’
and the dirt will ship on out for christmas day!

there’s monsters about
and the power is out
the roof isn’t done and it’s covered in grime
there’s a fire and a flood
and i’m covered in blood
christmas my -rs-, we won’t finish on time!

pool boys from the interview chamber choir still singing ‘sips co hooray!’
but no dirt is shipping out on christmas day!

hey guys, you need a hand?
well let’s reform the band!
i’ll build this factory
with new technology!
this dirt is super pure
one hundred percent i’m sure
come have a drink in here
the finest sipsco dirt beer!

pool boys from the interview chamber choir were singing sips co hooray!
and the dirt was shipping out on christmas day!

thanks a lot everybody!
merry christmas!
thank you so much!
we love you!

oh! i’m glad we made it
ah sips,
close run thing that!
you did it man!
you did it!
everyone, charge your gl-sses,
this is a toast…
charging! charging!
not with electricty duncan!
you’re supposed to fill it, with your beverage of choice!
put that laser away!
you’re gonna set everything on fire!
bl–dy maniac.
i know it’s cold, but come on!

okay now, are you ready? are you done?
a toast! to sips, and his dirt!
hooray!
sips and his dirt, yay!
well done man, you did it.
this is delicious.
there’s gonna be a lot of happy children unwrapping their presents.
with a dirt block, just there
they don’t take batteries though, so at least that’s something.
the naughty children get coal, but the good children… they get dirt.
how does that work?
my god.
so the really really naughty children… will get like gold or something according to this?
nah, they get some pig sh-t.
wow. lovely
awwe yeah. oh that was amazing. kay. let’s just do one more.

- the yogscast lyrics

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