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them coulee boys - my anxiety & me lyrics

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i used to pick fights with my demons, now they’re curled up at my feet
i’ve made friends of every enemy i ever cared to meet
but if i ever have a falling out with my anxiety
i hope he leaves me where he found me in the dirt like we agreed

well i met him when you left, so i’m convinced you’re in cahoots
and i’m too wrapped up in the mystery to ever learn the truth
you should both work together, you’d be such a perfect pair
i’ll keep searching for the happiness that was never really there

then on the night i lost control of him and i lied on the linoleum
i wondered if i’d ever feel at home
it ain’t easy with my anxiety and me, but at least i’m not alone

they say the world’s gone straight to sh+t so maybe that’s why i’m upset
they said to move on from the garden and accept the garbage we have left
i say the friend i found to cope may have been the one to blame
just go on with what we’re used to, things will always stay the same

by the time i quit pretending that i didn’t care the world was ending
and i finally wondered if i’d ever feel at home
it ain’t easy with my anxiety and me, but at least i’m not alone

i thought the frailty of my youth would turn to strength as i got old
i thought the hole that i was digging would lead to solid gold
i never thought my life could be reduced to a sh+tty metaphor

but i don’t have a congregation
i’m not a savior on the run
or a bridegroom staring back at all the people that he loves
i’m not staying up too late
until i’m talking in my sleep
i ain’t giving death the chance to ever get the best of me
i’m just a guy who thinks too much about what other people think
but understands you are as beautiful as your love lets you be

and when i get to the end
finally see him as a friend
i won’t wonder if i ever felt at home
it ain’t easy with my anxiety and me
but at least i’m not alone

- them coulee boys lyrics

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