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theory hazit - speak to me lyrics

[verse 1: theory hazit]
i feel like i’m wearing a blindfold
and i hear voices in my head that keep calling me
it’s cool cause i see better with my eyes closed
but this black cloud still follows me
i lost some family members this year, it’s been rough (rest in peace)
i have a difficult time looking up
i had my heart broken recently
man, i just want god to speak to me
but all i get is “ditch your life, blah blah blah, whoop dee woo” from other folks that don’t know a ho ho from susie q
ain’t nothing sweet at all though, it’s awful
i’m also deprived from community
faith is at an all-time low
feeling h-lla thirsty, tempted to holler at
every single priest i come in contact with
surfing on the p-rn sites whenever i get depressed
this is what it looks like when i escape from that
no accountability, abandoned by my own
sowing of neglect and so i sit on the throne
folded my arms, crossed my legs, tipped my crown, and stuck my chest out
power tripped then i fell down
lord, i can’t hear you
alright, i’m listening
lord, i’m listening

[verse 2: k-drama]
i got a lot of cares on my train of thought
that travel full speed through my head, i feel distraught
at times, it’s hard to stay on track
cause i don’t wanna misrepresent this cross i’m carrying on my back
but i don’t even feel like the lord is hearing me
am i talking to myself? that’s how it appears to be
feeling the heaviness when i pray, is his ear near to me?
i don’t see any [?] so what is near and dear to me?
i’m aware that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care
just tired of feeling like my prayers don’t make it through the air
speak lord, i need your comfort and direction
speak lord, i don’t wanna feel neglected

[verse 3: jon corbin]
speak lord, i need more than my knees floored
my spirit’s soundtrack: melancholy keyboards
guitar strings emanate from the church
i’m kneeling at the altar asking what my life is worth
cause if i had worth, wouldn’t my dad love me?
i’m living in submission to my father’s curse above me
an empty vacuum sucking up my joy
invisible tattoos marking this bruised boy
story after story, scripture after scripture
page after page is painting this clear picture
that god is a mighty wind, spirit moves swiftly
so tell me lord, why haven’t you yet hit me?
self-doubt, deprecate, self-criticize
self-loathing, all for self, never knowing why
we equate our broken fathers with the most high
i just wanna know how you see me in your eyes, lord

- theory hazit lyrics

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