thesingingkoala - it's gotta be the butz! lyrics
[the judge, spoken]
witness, please state your name and occupation
[larry butz, spoken]
larry butz! uh… ladies’ man
[manfred von karma, spoken]
this is a colossal waste of time
[judge, spoken]
mr. butz, please begin your testimony
[larry, spoken]
you got it, pops!
[sung]
well, i was hangin’ out with my girlfriend ruth
in my mansion with a golden picket fence
[judge]
sir, must i remind you now to please tell the truth?
because perjury’s a criminal offense
[larry, spoken]
whew! sorry, let me try that again…
[sung]
see, i was all alone, ’cause i’d just been dumped
and i know that isn’t easy to believe
out by the lake where i was selling some junk
it was my only company that christmas eve
but as i boarded up and locked up my shop
i heard a gun fire with a noisy pop!
and i know you don’t think my opinion counts for a whole lot
but let me guarantee you that i heard that shot!
that’s how it all happened, i recall it clear as day
so believe it, even if you think i’m nuts!
[phoenix, spoken]
his testimony’s vague…
[edgeworth]
and you know just what they say
“when something smells…”
[phoenix, spoken]
“…it’s usually the butz.”
[von karma, spoken]
this witness is contributing nothing. i demand he be dismissed… and ideally, drawn and quartered
[phoenix, spoken]
hold it! larry, there is one thing that sounds out of place in your testimony
[larry, spoken]
and what’s that, nick?
[phoenix, spoken]
well, you say you heard a gunshot. earlier, ms. lotta hart testified, and i quote: “y’all listen good now! i heard two dang gunshots that night!”
[larry, spoken]
nick, you said “ms.” and not “mrs.,” right? because if she’s available—
[phoenix, spoken]
larry, just tell me why you didn’t hear the second gunshot!
[larry]
truth is that i was listenin’ on my headphones
because radio’s the friend that’s always there!
i like to jam out when i’m feeling alone
so i may have missed a shot that filled the air
but i remember that one ‘bang’ that i heard
the dj was talking when it occurred
so i know it wasn’t something like a k!ller drumming riff
but let me guarantee you that i was scared stiff!
when the dj talked, there was hardly any noise
so i listened in awe of her really s+xy voice
it was pure and demure, yet mature and so refined
i can’t get that lovely voice out of my mind!
that’s how it all happened, i recall it plain as ink
and to get up here, it took a lot of guts! hah!
[edgeworth]
or to be more succinct+
[phoenix]
+this whole testimony stinks!
[phoenix/edgeworth]
and when something smells, it’s probably the butz!
[von karma[
i can’t stand to listen to this lad
this young man has nothing new to add
[phoenix]
larry, there’s just one thing i should know
when you listened to the radio
in regards to the dj, what exactly did she say on that show?
[spoken]
do you know?
[larry, spoken]
i…i remember! she said
“hey…it’s almost christmas!”
[judge, spoken]
…well, mr. wright, anything to add?
[phoenix, spoken]
er, um, i…
[von karma, spoken]
as compelling as your argument is, i demand that the witness end this pointless charade! now!
[judge, spoken]
oh, very well. mr. larry butz, you are now dism—
[phoenix, spoken]
objection! your honor, please! i just realized that larry’s testimony changes everything!
[sung]
if you recall, ms. lotta’s camera went off
at twelve+fifteen, december twenty+fifth
[judge, spoken]
yes, yes
[phoenix]
and though the witness is incompetent
[edgeworth]
and frankly quite a dope…
[larry, spoken]
hey!
[phoenix]
i know his shaky testimony’s not a myth!
[larry, spoken]
guys, come on!
[phoenix]
and though we all assumed the gun fired twice
in fact, the murder weapon fired thrice!
one was fired christmas eve, the others, christmas day
and these three photos ill+strate my repartee!
and though we all assumed the gun fired twice
in fact, the murder weapon fired thrice!
[spoken]
see? one from when the camera went off at 11:50 pm…
“almost christmas…” and two more at 12:15! the camera caught three snapshots for three gunshots, and larry’s testimony proves it!
[judge, spoken]
why, you’re absolutely right! no objections, mr. von karma?
…very well, then
[phoenix, spoken]
the question is, what happened in this twenty+five minute gap?!?
[judge, spoken]
indeed…we must look into this matter further. mr. butz, your final thoughts?
[simultaneous 1]
[larry]
wow, nick, that’s quite a trick!
it shocked even me
it’s impressive how you managed to survive!
i think that you could even get edgey free
or at worst, just imprisonment for life!
[simultaneous 2]
[von karma/edgeworth]
get that man off the stand
he’s a sham and a disgrace
what a crime, wasting time for a prosecuting ace
every word is absurd, it’s unheard of and a sin
for this fool to fill the court with such chagrin!
[simultaneous end]
[larry]
that’s how it all happened and that’s all i got to say
i recall it just like it was yesterday!
[phoenix, spoken]
it was tuesday!
[larry]
and so i saved the day
even though i’m just a klutz!
[phoenix/edgeworth/judge/crowd]
when something smells, it’s gotta be+
[von karma, spoken]
that man needs a lobotomy
[phoenix/edgeworth/judge/crowd]
when something smells, it’s gotta be the butz!
[larry, spoken]
that’s right!
[sung]
it’s gotta be the butz!
[spoken]
ah+cha!
[von karma]
get him out of here!!!
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