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this is the glasshouse - january lyrics

the fevered colours of my propensities
uncontrollably spilling out
like opening a water bottle upside+down
and at first, just drops on the hand
but quickly becoming unmanageable
as i spill and sink into the ground

the mound of impressions where i exist to all others
are bashed into and shape that i choose
and i may spit and belch at you
i may yell and scream at you
swing my fists at you
but i’d do anything to make it work for you
cross my legs and shave my face
put on my best fry for you
all to please you

there must be an open
door through to a heart
when i was walking homе at night i saw her unband;
3rd floor window
i couldn’t look away until our eye linеs crossed
and so neatly, and unlikely
but in fleeting confidence
i didn’t look away
i held the line against that was once ingrained
newly shameless
on the eve of my 20th birthday
i dream of myself in all his glory
and i saw him spill into the bucket
a substance supreme, it completes
while mire falls out of the gut
and left without enough sp+ce
is spilled onto my chinese acrylic sweater

and all my friends could see it
and all my friends knew

i want to be unconditional in mind
i want to be remembered and reminded of
i want to be brought up as an anecdote to your group of friends on a friday night
and i want to be less man and more myth to them
i want my existence to make you comfortable
i want to build you up as the man you’ve always been

i dote on like a child
and i l+st for like a dog

i want you to be confident in your release
i want you to maintain an outward perception
i want your touch not like gripping hot plated metal and back again
and i follow like a small pet
and do whatever can be done to make it whole
a room of snares in the back of your head
as they roll
the hardest kept secrets are the ones that make your friends think silently
the ones that surprise you as they fall out of the mouth
i want them to hear
i want them to know

i get excited when all the lights are turned off
i get excited when i leave the shower door unlocked
i get excited when the blinds are left a little open
i get a feeling, swept into the darkest corner

i get excited when i look through open windows
i get excited when i look in the mirror at night
i get excited when i can see what is not known
i get a feeling, pushed behind the closet door

i get excited when i drink to total blindness
and i get excited when i’m in a stranger’s home alone
i get excited when all foreign eyes are watching me
i get a feeling, learned to be ignored

and i like it when you don’t know my leanings
and i like you face when i let you know
i like it when i’m unsure of your intentions
i like this feeling, left on the bathroom floor

i want the validation of people who don’t respect me
i want to consume the love of someone who i can control
i want to be assumed a seasoned s+x machine
i want this feeling, thrown into the bottom drawer
but i hate it when you talk about girls you like
and i hate it when you mentioned s+x from your past
i hate that i cannot tell you how i really see you
and what is focused on at a glance

and i want you to call me and to ask me to help you move
i want you to plainly describe out many encounters
i want to know the layout of your house like my own
anything i can do to make it last

and i get excited when i fantasize about your stories
i get excited when i’m playing a supporting role
and i get excited by the thought of sleepless evenings with you
anything to fill the hole

a week after my 21st birthday, i had a 2nd dream
when i maintained the look of the man i was built up to be
but 6 to 8 months began to shift the growing tides against what
needed to be true to save my last remaining pride

and now antic+p+ting my own impending anecdote
that i can reference and compare with friends more apt
and with my own two hands, i cast alone
as i prepare for the first step of my newest act

i want to be taken suddenly and without warning
i want to be overpowered and to lose control
i want you to tream me like one of your many past lovers
i want you to be obsessed with me all on your own

and i want to drink with you at night and let a word or two slip
i want you to look at me and not say another after that
i want you to show you new things that i barely know about
i want to take you any way that i can

- this is the glasshouse lyrics

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