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thomas benjamin wild esq - an ode to my facial hair lyrics

[chorus]
my facial hair is much admired
it causes folks to swoon
and sets their heats a fluttering
each time i start to croon
i follow all the up to date
tonsorial advice
and use all sorts of balms and oils
to keep it smelling nice

[chorus]
my facial hair makes my jaw look strong
and hides my double chin
though it can me make me look toothless if
i crack too wide a grin
it states that i’m intelligent
mature, wise, and sincere
and i gain a second mustache when
i try to drink a beer
[chorus]
my facial hair can be a pain
although i love it so
it stops our lips from touching when
i try to kiss my bow
it can be hard to sip from spoons
and it may seen somewhat rude
that i attempt to hide my face
when eating messy food

[chorus]
my partner loves my facial hair
and smiles at it with pride
the one time that i shaved it off
she looked quite horrified
she said my smooth and boyish face
was just too much to bear
and if i shaved it off again
she’d leave me then and there

- thomas benjamin wild esq lyrics

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