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thrice a chuckle - christmas cactus lyrics

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[verse 1]
if you’re gunna decorate a christmas cactus
i wouldn’t procrastinate a little practice
cause the spikes up on that type of tree
would take care of you or me
(uh! christmas cactus!)

[verse 2]
if you got yourself a cactus to decorate
i’d be careful because it don’t discriminate
it doesn’t care if you’re good, don’t care if you’re bad
you’ll never forget the pain that you had from a cactus
(uuh christmas cactus!!!)

[verse 3]
if you’re gunna hang some lights or put an angel on top
you better call your momma, better call your pop
cause one little slip, or one little fall
could be the mistake that could end it all – on a cactus!

[bridge]
a christmas cactus ain’t got no mercy for you
no glad tidings of joy for your cousins too!

[verse 4]
now a christmas cactus has some benefits
it don’t drink water, and it will protect your gifts
and when your tree huggin’ cousin comes for the holidays
he might just hug it and then run away from the cactus!

[outro]
uh!!! not friends with everybody, no!
the cactus is your friend though!
huh! decorate it all nice, is what i’m sayin’!
put some lights up on that sucker and love it for all its worth!
a love hate relationship like no other!

that’s a christmas cactus!

- thrice a chuckle lyrics

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