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tillr - lately lyrics

[verse 1]
lately, i lost myself
when i sink i don’t even try to stop myself
i’ve learned to accept the fate
that i brought on myself, now everyday
is like h-ll, thanks to this brain of mine
bottling up all this pain inside
but the pressure will build till the bottle will burst
the cuts on my skin only beg for concern
you’re witnessing therapy sessions
you’re witnessing me get prepared for rejection
i dare to express it, but this is the diary
for someone without a place in society
questioning if i should stop my sobriety
just for a second so i can breathe finally
tried to be happy, i tried to deflect it
but i’m f-cking helpless can’t fight my depression
i’m venting and you don’t really have to listen
but if i don’t let it out i’ll make a bad decision
i’m happy for a minute then i’m back to prison
when you say it gets better is it fact or fiction
i don’t know anymore, i don’t wanna feel low anymore
my thoughts are not showing remorse
my heart is so broken and torn
i’m hoping for more than a life full of pain and despair
if we talk about h-ll well i’m basically there
the reaper will watch and he’ll painfully stare
with his hands on my throat while he’s making me scared
that i’ll never be sh-t, and my life is a waste
my climate has changed from the brightest of days
now i cry in the rain, all hope is lost
i’m pleading for help getting no response

[hook]
lately i’ve been lost
the pain never seems to stop
please come save me
lately everything i feel it breaks me
down
my happiness is gone and it’s nowhere to be found
nowadays i feel like i should be beneath the ground
another bottle down let it erase me
lately, whenever i feel happy i come crashing down

[verse 2]
lately i just wanna die
i’m just sick of the nights where i sit there and cry
the ways that i cope i know they could be better
but it’s either that or i suffer forever
the pressure inside of my head is destroying me
if you don’t talk i -ssume you’re avoiding me
thinking i’m worthless cause no ones employing me
i’ll just let my demons take over and poison me
i’ve been fighting temptation to use medication, cause i’m in a state of complete desolation, and pure devastation with no explanation, i guess i’m a part of a sad generation
with people who fake it to get some attention, and get more attention than kids with depression, who hide in their rooms with a knife and a death wish, just wishing they didn’t feel broke and rejected, i’ve been on that level since i was a freshman, my life from that point took a darker direction, care more bout expressing and less bout reception, it’s music or death and there’s not one exception, suppressing myself is the only other option, i need to find a way to get the demons out my conscience, they’re tearing me apart and they’ll put me in a coffin if i fail to get em out and that’s a motherf-cking promise
i know that she’ll never love me
missing the days where she’d hug me, and every night wasn’t bl–dy, and my days were sunny, and i wasn’t someone they would study
to see what was wrong with me, my head’s a self made atrocity, all that i give you is honesty, if you wanna dwell in my thoughts any longer, to my sanctuary is where you can follow me

- tillr lyrics

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