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tj miller - t.j. miller lyrics

i’m like pepsi
i’m always second best
like melissa etheridge
i’m usually in a vest
i’m like home depot
if i can’t flow
there’s hispanics out front
ready to go
i’m like southwest
you’re free to move around
but the only place i’m goin’ is d-town
i’m like mr. clean
i appear out of nowhere
jeffrey tambor downtown
subtle, no hair
i’m like fema
i always come late
i’m like puerto rico
i’m not really a state
i’m like donald duck
you can’t understand a word
i’m dangerous and friendly to kids
call me notorious b.i.g bird
i’m like maury povich
i make a living off exploitation
i’m like cubans
sometimes i mix myself up with haitians
i’m like sarah palin
i’m the sc-m of the earth
i’m like jaden smith
i was set since birth
i’m like my mom’s friend
allison galansky
when i have dinner parties i don’t invite me
i’m like dave matthews
my fans are all tools
i’m like cricket y’all
i don’t quite understand the rules
i’m like an overweight advice columnist/hunter-director of photography
i shot ‘dear flabby’
(it was a doc-mentary, it actually won best picture at thundance and south by northeast. we submitted to cannies, but it didn’t take.)
i’m like a claw-machine
you usually don’t win
i’m like that all that’s evil and not real
you can call me sin
i’m like a clown without makeup
still kinda scary
i’m like a scrabble dictionary
cause i’m useless
but with a great vocabulary
i’m confusing
like when a girl named “mary” gets married
i’m like gary coleman
it didn’t end up so great
i’m like p-rnography
i use me to m-st-rbate
flight attendant to ya phone
i’ll get ya turned off
i’m like a creepy doctor
don’t turn your head when you cough
i’m like a b-tterface
cause i have margarine on my face
i’m like china in a bull shop
i’m still outta place
i’m like cryogenics
no one really knows exactly what i am or if it extends one’s own life
it’s probably just science fiction to help people stave off their fear of mortality you know?
i’m like that
i’m like krevin harb-tton
no one’s ever heard of me
i’m an annoying phenomenon
i’m like ‘glee’
i’m like la
cause i take my time to crush your soul
i’m like new york city
i’m already full
i’m like richard nixon
except i’m a crook
like a blind person with audiotapes
i don’t do it by the book!
i’m like king kong
cause i sweat a lot
i mean n0body ever talks about it, but he probably sweats a lot
i’m like q-tip
i didn’t make it f-ckin’ rhyme for real
but yo technically
i’m not made of steel
i’m mostly water
i’m mostly water
i’m like cali swag
i’m a one hit wonder
i’m like a cold hit without m-ss appeal
i’m ‘six feet under’
i’m like gl-sses
since july i’ve been out of fashion
i’m the cultural elite
i’m the last intellectual bastion
i’m like elvis presley
cause i stole that sh-t
i’m like charlie parker
cause i’m that ‘bird’ sh-t
yo, riffin’s in my blood
and it’s not about to clot
improvise like the sun
all important and f-ckin’ hot
i’m like a flasher in the cold
i always wear two coats
i’m like angela lansbury
i wrote ‘murder she wrote’
i’m like ‘mrs. doubtfire’
i look good in a wig
i’m like that farmer from ‘babe’
that’ll do pig

- tj miller lyrics

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