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to dance alone - the lighthouse lyrics

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everyone that you know
will someday go
every single leaf in the trees
will fall
when winter comes

every word you said
like “move on, my friend”
is spinning in my head

and every single day
my laments
are itching on my friends
so i’ll stay mute
and i’ll let the pain acute
hope it’s gonna fade away
it starts again
to fade away into oblivion
but i crash my car into a wall
made of aerosol
and that gas in the air
is making me fall back into the old ways

every day that i waste
absorbed in this void
could give me the taste
of what i’ve been searching for
every face you once knew
will be a picture in your phone
and by the age you get retired
you’ll likely be in a nursing home
complaining about your pension
cause you didn’t work hard enough
you didn’t realize the world spins around

so those friends
when you were 12
will long be gone
nice while it lasted
maybe you had too much fun

time is such a silly game
it makes you feel
you’re stuck in a moment
but it still flies
over your head
and you don’t get to stop it

i think i deserve +
i don’t deserve sh+t
entangled in their affairs
i need to get out of there
and i keep on holding on
and i keep on hiding it back
but i can’t find a way out
if i keep it in the backseat of my heart

and it starts to feel that
it’s not the exception, it’s the rule
maybe i’m doomed to fail
finding a heart to feel in bloom

and history repeats itself
i don’t need to hear it
i see it with my own eyes
from the way i keep running back to her
to the way she godd+mn cries

but if these words hang by a thread
and our lines are barely tangent
but still, they intersect
and we need a third
to actually say a word
don’t you think i realize?
i just wanna be heard
i just wanna be loved

we don’t share that much in common
we barely have a real talk
i need a real talk with my heart
only after that, maybe i’ll come back
and the way we’re all gonna separate
in a couple of months from now
life has been good so far
but it hasn’t been good enough?

there’s always something missing
unsaid words with deep regrets
falling deeper in the ocean
full of sunken friends

and i think i think my way through
but i’m just stumbling around
i say “i don’t need a mate, i need you”
but i still wonder why i’m stuck to the ground?

and i wrote the same song for three years now
some variety is all they want
i got material for thirty more songs
but they’re unlikely to see the light
in love they trust and for love they fight
i, for one, lost my hopes
that i’ll ever catch a smile
without telling my dumb jokes
that i’ll ever make her smile
in the way she deserves

yeah, today’s probably a full moon outside
so what?
look at me, all self+absorbed
i can’t even win the fight with my heart

my brain seems victorious
until it gets stabbed in the back
and oh, how they tried
to get me back on track

but i’m at a crossroad
yet i know what i should do
i failed my destination
so can i ask you about you?

and i can feel it in my bones
that i know she barely knows
how hard i can f+ck things up
she’s the best for not giving me a chance at that

and i can feel it in my feet
that we’re simply put, unfit
not the best match as they say
how could we be? we’ve barely talked since may
or at least something other than
“hey, are you okay?”
and i wished i could say
“no, i’m not, i needed you”
but somehow, and i’m glad
i managed to keep my mouth shut

for once, i managed to not completely screw it up
like i got used to already
could she fill in the gap?
no, she most definitely could not
i know i’m a question without answer
that much i know for now

so, like i said, i know i repeat myself
like i know we’ll never be
like i know we don’t talk anything fruitful
like i pretend i know she
like i know we wouldn’t work out
cause we’re so different
and yet, i’m stuck
in this exhaustingly boring cl+sterf+ck

now that i got that out of the way
i look at the future i try to escape
it’s torturing me with its haze
who will be my friends
at the end of our days?

will i even know your face
if i meet you in the street
will you even remember the place
where we used to meet?

my friends are few and far in between
and i’m afraid our roads will get thin
and we’ll walk on threads till they break
and then you’ll realize nylon is fake

and countries will separate us
and we’ll fight till they mend
but even then, we feel the distance
so we’re closing in to the end

i don’t want that moment to come
and i sure wouldn’t want it to last
i’d rather be stuck in today
than in another day’s past

but what is the point of all this fight?
basically, it’s just rambling through life
distracted till i die
but i know i’ll die fulfilled
wherever i am
and i know my end
is just another beginning

so now i’m on a quest
to become a better man
i wanna help you in any way that i can
maybe if i distract myself just for too long
i’ll be getting over it, finally moving on

this is the last stanza, i promise you that
i won’t focus on what i could’ve had
i’ll focus on working every step of the way
making you and i glad in a thousand different ways

- to dance alone lyrics

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