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tobuscus - baby time (adhd musical) lyrics

h+llo and welcome to the baby time matrix factory!
where you do the deed, and we sow the seed!
your one+stop shop to keep your wife hot (baby time)
that’s right, it’s baby time
(baby time)
i know what you’re thinking
“holy f++king sh+t, what the f++k, are we f++ked?”
not at all (baby time)
quite the opposite, in fact
the baby time matrix factory is the world’s first artificial womb (aww)
and it’s powered entirely by renewable energy from, you guessed it, babies

(time, baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time)
in a time where most people don’t have time to make babies
we do
because we make time
and babies
(and also time)
(and also babies)
we make them in j+pan, bulgaria, and south korea
here at the baby factory, we place glowing sp+ce trash cans in front of some of the babies
(just like mommy’s womb!)
to perfectly simulate the inside of the mother’s womb
(perfectly?) that’s right, they perfect+f++kingly simulate the inside of a mommy’s womb

oh, can’t wait for baby time
(baby time, baby time, baby time)
we’ll be growing babies over here!
(baby time, baby time, baby time)
we’ve got baby printers!
(baby time, baby time, baby time)
gonna mass produce 30 thousand babies per year
(per factory)
yeah, that’s a whole lotta babies
but we got a f++kload of time!
oh, can’t wait for baby time
(baby time, baby time, baby time)
(baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time)
(baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time)
(baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time)

initializing musical baby programming
wait, what? really?
(just read the script please)
play music for baby to help shape it into the kind of baby you’ll want to feed
uhh+ (shh!)
does that do anything? (read the script!)
whoa, this took a turn
(shh!) cause being pregnant sucks
now you can still look hot!
(baby time!)
you gonna grow your baby in a pod
(baby time, baby time, baby time, get nasty)
(get nasty, get nasty, get baby time)
did you say “get nasty”?
(baby time, baby time)
no, you said “get nasty”
(get nasty)
baby time backwards is get nasty? are you kidding me?

we take pride in our wide and diverse selection of babies
every one of those babies is white, are you serious?
cut his microphone
hey m+ hey+
(baby time)
this working? there ya go, hey uh+ my mic stopped working+ my, uh+ i brought my own though, from home
(baby time)
(baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time)
(baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time)
(baby time, baby time) (get nasty)
(baby time)
(baby time)
(baby time)
(baby time)
(baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time)
(baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time)
(baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time)
(baby time, baby time, baby time)
(baby time)
(baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time)
(baby time, baby time, baby time)
(baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time)
(baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time)
(baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time)
(baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time)
(baby time)
(baby time, baby time, get nasty)

attention, attention
this is not a drill
one of our babies has escaped
wha+ uhh… escaped?
consider it armed, and extremely dangerous
what?! it’s just a little vulnerable baby, what are you talking about?
i’m afraid not…
what?
here at the baby time matrix factory, our babies are anything but…
they’re not just babies, what does that even mean?
oh no… someone is deleting the security camera footage, in real time
now?!
i was able to protect one clip, but not for long… there was a couple, they assisted him in escaping
what?
+n+lyzing…
(baby time)
the male is a: brady, tom
that’s tom brady
(brady tom, brady tom, brady tom, brady tom, brady tom, brady tom)
(tom brady broke out the baby)
quickly, someone is hacking my mainframe
oh no…
(brady tom, brady tom, brady tom)

what the h+ll??
they are trying to delete all relevant information about the baby
quickly, test the baby’s dna
me?!
we must find out who this baby is
oh no… no…
the baby monitor is showing a full grown adult
what the h+ll? you+ y+ what?
they+they+they g+g+grow up so fast
not that fast!

(brady tom, brady tom, brady tom, brady tom, brady tom, brady tom, brady tom)
oh no…
what?
i’m afraid
no, i think i’m the scared one
i think you’re a robot
oh my…
what?
he hacked his baby monitor
(baby time, baby time, baby time)
what, what does that mean?
it is now a time machine
what?!
(baby time, baby time, baby)
he traveled into the past
(baby time, baby time, baby time)
babies don’t have pasts!
it looks to have been a long, long time ago
test his dna, quickly
i’m trying! i’m trying
it’s not doing uh… it’s not doing anything

something is wrong
yeah, no sh+t
someone is blocking dna +n+lysis remotely
who, tom brady?
run a manual scan
search parameter: midichlorians
you’re kidding
just do it
that’s not real

uhhh… it says… it says over 20 thousand but what does that mean?
oh my… over 20 thousand…
what? what? what+
oh god…
what?
that means…
what??
it’s… it’s him
who? who? what are you talking about?! who?
i am afraid we have sp+wned an ancient evil
oh my god…
the most powerful force of darkness in the galaxy
what the f++k, how does that happen on accident?
that doesn’t happen on accident
the son of darkness
(baby time, baby time, baby time)

it’s darth f++king vader…
that’s just a movie character!
are you telling me that that’s real?
oh god
this is not good
oh my god, oh my god… oh god…
there is one who can defeat him…
who?! who, luke?
you must find him
who, luke?
help me toby+wan ken0bi, you’re my only hope

(pewdiepie, pewdiepie, pewdiepie)
pewdiepie? i have to find pewdiepie?
he just had a… he just had a kid
his kid’s the only one that can save us?
wha… it’s impossible to get a hold of him!
no, g+nius… luke skywalker, obviously
oh
why would it be pewdiepie?
uh… it just sounded like was kinda saying pewdiepie i thought
no you idiot
that’s what i thought you were saying
ridiculous

- tobuscus lyrics

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