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tobuscus - the fob song lyrics

[verse 1]
you walk through the parking lot
looking for your ride
you ponder for a second
how you gonna get inside?
you look at your keychain
you notice several keys
you reach for your handkerchief
because you have to sneeze
you throw down your hanky
in the middle of the lot
you don’t need that shit
now it’s filled with snot
who cares? it’s a handkerchief
those things are gross
use a kleenex next time
one that’s not abrasive on your nose
you keep walking to
your well+parked ride
you take off your jacket
’cause it’s hot outside
you lift up your keychain
bеcause you’re getting closе
you search for the thing
that you need the most
it’s a little black oval+shaped
button+studded clicker
as you push the button
it unlocks and lights flicker
[chorus]
what’s it called?
it’s called a fob
i’m sorry, i didn’t get you, what is it?
it’s a motherfucking fob
okay, no i still didn’t…
it’s called a fob
could you enunciate please?
it’s a motherfucking fob

[verse 2]
sorry ’bout the confusion
but i still don’t understand
i just told you four times
just talk to the hand
the marimba’s too loud
it’s just confusing my ears
you’re right, i’m sorry for snapping
i should rap more clear
let me spell it out
it’s my f+o+b
it’s a term that describes
a remote control car key
mine works fine
up to eighty fucking feet
that’s about halfway
down the motherfucking street
i know
[chorus]
what’s it called?
it’s called a fob
wait, what else does it do?
a bunch of shit
like what?
it’s a motherfucking fob
no no, i said what does it do?
where do i begin?

[verse 3]
car start, windows down
so it don’t get foggy
my car alarm
will make your pants get soggy
warning motherfucker
you better get lost
if you don’t i’ll fill you
with carcinogenic exhaust
it even got a button
for taking down the top
that shit lowers faster than
well, your mom
that kind of offended me
could you please say sorry?
i’m sorry
i accept, now continue the story
one button shoots flames
like an afterburner
signs my name on the asphalt
toby joe turner
[chorus]
that’s pretty cool man
it’s called a fob
yeah man, that’s… i know
it’s a motherfucking fob
does it do anything else?
my my my my
so much other stuff
that made your escalade cry

[verse 4]
my fob felt bad
so it told your escalade, sorry
it’s got a button
for going on a safari
that lifts up an armor+piecing
machine gun turret
it shoots so loud
that the aliens heard it
their leader flew down
in his ufo
with a click of the fob i slapped him
just like one of et’s eight+fingered hoes
which resulted in an
intergalactic war
my fob laughed hard
just like it wanted some more
but then i dropped my fob
down into my cola
my fob died quick
like it caught ebola

[outro]
it’s broke
i broke my fob
one button used to pull corn
off of the cob
another button had
several ties with the mob
another got me hired
and fired from my job
it was my fob
i broke my fob
i can’t believe
i broke my motherfucking fob

- tobuscus lyrics

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