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tom (aus) - little good sons lyrics

no good dads, so it’s little good sons
wonder where that leaves me, it’s been a good run
but i think i should jump
six or so months now i’m still sprinting from his image if it comes up
i ain’t looked at pictures of him since i made that slideshow
liquor sitting in my gut convinced i’m singing high notes
so high that i sowed my eyes shut
it isn’t even nighttime
living by the blindfold
so how the f+ck could i know?
my therapist told me that the climb slow
that i can show weakness, that the grief is indefinable
but a week just slipped by with no signs of growth
and i just spent the day sober, may smoke an eighth to celebrate that the day’s over
don’t tell my mother that i’m not coping
and if the day comes where she wakes up and i don’t
just tell her that i love her still and don’t play her my music
just pray she recovers
but i’ve been walking to work so i don’t have to look at that train
just pray he don’t jump

the loss goes down smooth with a snare hit
but it’s not really losing if it’s an abusive parent, right?
like, i didn’t choose him to fare with, i’m blue in the fingers from soothing my torn skin
i’d mourn him but i’m now more what they declared him
sitting dead still amidst some bent sin
grab a chair to threaten her with, “i’ll k!ll you”
your only and first kid hidden under the table about the turn six
watching his mum’s throat get a firm grip
scared sh+tless forced to bear witness
spent some nights at my auntie’s house, i couldn’t bear lifting my t++th
or form sentences, i felt weak and helpless letting her get hit by him
i’m six, i’m big, i swore i’ll k!ll him if he did it again
and we went back home with him and it wasn’t any different
and i’m supposed to miss that man? forgive that man?
you must be sh+tting me
i’m fidgety, a spliff in hand to bring me ease
that’s just the way it had to be

- tom aus lyrics

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