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tom flannery – if jesus had a wife lyrics

if jesus had a wifethat would sure p-ss some people off
i’m not quite sure why
but then i was taught to scoff
mary magdelene was either a wh-r-
or a nice little homemaker
who happened to marry the son of god
and had him taken from her
if jesus had a wife
he probably had some kids too
and wouldn’t that throw a wrench in things
now what do we do?
can his daughter become a priest?
would they make an exception
and the whole papal celibacy thing
label a misconception
if jesus had a wife
he might have had a jr.
a jr. jesus would have big shoes to fill

but i don’t mean to infer
that he would have been the black sheep
or veer in ways askew
only that it may have been temping
to drop a mame or two
if jesus had a wife
that would be just fine with me
as long as she wasn’t a nag
and didn’t scream like a banshee
when he got called late at night
to perform a miracle with prayer
and then got grilled when he got home
about the other women there
that was a man nailed to that cross
he bled and cried in pain
but his disciples running things down here
they’d nail him up again
if he came back for a visit
and divulged a thing or two
that’s not written in a hotel drawer
by the chosen few

- tom flannery lyrics

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