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tom green - don't mess with a man (after he takes a big poo poo) lyrics

[singing with beat]
check it out, yeah

don’t mess with a man, right after he takes a big poo-poo,
it’s not the time to be dramatic, right after he takes a big poo-poo,
you gotta watch what you say; right after a man takes a poo-poo,
because his liable to freak out, right after he dumps his doo-doo.

i knew a guy named jamal, addicted to prank phone calls,
he called the bowling alley to talk about his b-lls,
and then he hung up and hid in the bathroom stall, and took a big poo-poo,
it stunk so bad he didn’t know what to do-do, the wallpaper started peeling,
so he wiped his b-tt and started dancing on the ceiling, just like lionel ritchie,
the only difference, he just taken a cr-p and his b-tt was itchy,
then he went and caught a movie, and he ate some popcorn, started slurping on a spoon,
the chick in front of him said ‘be quiet’
so he slapped the f-cking fat b-tch and told her to go on a diet,
see, her boyfriend started a riot, so he pulled out his glock and said ‘don’t even try it’

one day i was sitting on the toilet, reading a magazine and trying to enjoy it,
i think it was an article in popular mechanics, bout how to use mechano to make a praying mantis,
i got bored so i got off the cr-pper, washed my hands and turned the light off with a clapper,
see, i didn’t want to hit the light switch, see, people with poo on their hands probably had touched it,
so then i went and bought some gum, and then i walked around the shopping mall acting like a dum-dum,
shoplifting some jeans at old navy, put them on my head and acting all crazy,
i said ‘look at me, everybody, i’m a man with jeans on my head and if you don’t like it then you got no cred’
i flipped them all the bird and this is what i said, this is what i said!

i heard about a guy named ricky, he took a poo in a paper bag, it was sticky,
he went to detention, lit the bag on fire, now this is the type of story that i admire,
see the teacher stomped out the fire with his foot, and ricky said,
‘b-tch, you got my sh-t on your foot, ha, b-tch, you got my sh-t on your foot, yeah!’
ricky said ‘b-tch, you got my sh-t on your foot, ha!’

- tom green lyrics

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