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tom green - i like hooters lyrics

(chorus)
i like looking at b–bies (oh b–bies!)
i like p-rno movies (oh p-rno movies!)
i like meeting girls all around the world (oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)
i like to go to hooters (oh yes)
the girls there think i’m a loser (oh yeah)
but i don’t care, i just like looking at their cooters (hahahaha)

(verse 1)
alright i went to nevada with an infected bladder
i’ll tell you how it happened even though it doesn’t matter
i’m driving down the freeway in my dodge saturn
i stop at hooters, now you see the pattern
i open up my wallet, pay for my chicken
i say to the lady: would you like my fingers to do the licking?
the look on her face is kinda panic stricken
her boyfriend knocks me out, now i’m bed-ridden
go to a small-town hospitable
the nurse gives me a colonoscopy to be hospitable, see
the doc in duty treats me like a criminal
i say i come from the city, i’m kinda liberal
i better get out, i better not stop
i better, head for the border cause, here come the cop
so i, i hot-wire a he-rs- in the parking lot
i drop a freestyle verse because i rap a lot
i look in the rear-view, i, i though i lost ’em
sirens all blaring, lights blinking, it’s awesome, see
i wanna stop, play dead, like a possum
but there’s no reason to bother, there’s a dead guy in the coffin, see
i’m in my he-rs-, i’m leading a procession
i got the cops following i’ll teach ’em a lesson
i take ’em through a burger king drive thru
i better cut back on fat or else i’m gonna die too!

(chorus)
i like naked ladies (oh yeah)
i like making babies (oh yeah)
i wanna make ’em with girls all around the world (i like girls i like girls)
i like to go to hooters (oh hooters, chicken (?))
the girls there think i’m a loser (oh hmhm)
but i don’t care, i just like looking at their cooters (ohohoh cooters cooters cooters)

(verse 2)
now, i’m in a stolen he-rs- in nevada
i hear something in the back, some chitter and some chatter
i pull the car over to see what is the matter
something in the coffin making the cl-tter clatter
i open op the coffin, body starts coughing sh-t
snot gurgelin’, sneezing and vomiting, and i say
hey! you want double whopper with cheese?
and it says: hey, a-get me to the hospitable please
so well i, i go back to the small-town hospital
the nurse gives me a colonoscopy to be hospitable
cops come and treat me like a criminal
i try to explain, they throw me in a jail-cell
my cell-mate looks like he’s getting ready
when i say cell-mate, well i mean cell-mate
he starts batting his eyelashes and looking friendly
so i grab the toilet seat and say this could be deadly
he says “i’ll get you when i’m ready”, see
i call for the guard and i, i grab his gun and i
i grab his keys and i, i freaking run and i
go through the parking lot and jump in my saturn and
i hit for the hooters and now you see the pattern?

(chorus)
i like looking at b–bies (b–bies b–bies)
i like p-rno movies (oh movies movies)
i like meeting girls all around the world (i like you i like you i like you)
i like to go to hooters (ohoh hooters)
the girls there think i’m a loser (oh welcome to hooters)
but i don’t care, i just like looking at their cooters (ahahah cooters cooters cooters!)

i like naked ladies (naked ladies naked ladies)
i like making babies (making babies making babies)
i wanna make ’em with girls all around the world (h-llo there, nice to meet you)
i like to go to hooters (oh hooters)
the girls there think i’m a loser (welcome to hooters)
but i don’t care, i just like looking at their cooters (oh god nonononono!)

at their cooters (oh sh-t don’t say that don’t say that)
at their cooters
at their cooters
at their cooters
at their cooters

- tom green lyrics

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