tom lehrer - n apostrophe t lyrics
(scene: outside the cave of a very grouchy hermit (h). a very sweet child (c) coming along)
(c): isn’t it a lovely day?
(h): no, it isn’t!
(c): could you come outside and play?
(h): no, i couldn’t!
(c): did you ever take a hike?
(h): no, i didn’t!
(c): how’d you like to ride my bike?
(h): frankly, i wouldn’t!
(c): isn’t, couldn’t, didn’t, wouldn’t.
is that all you can say?
(h): isn’t, couldn’t, didn’t, wouldn’t – yes, now go away.
the sweetest sound to me.
it stands for “not”,
i like it a lot.
it’s spelled “n”-apostrophe-“t”.
(c): have you ever tried to smile?
(h): no, i haven’t!
(c): won’t you try it for a while?
(h): no, i won’t!
(c): are there games to play in there?
(h): no, there aren’t!
(c): then why d’you like to stay in there?
(h): frankly, i don’t!
(c): haven’t, won’t, aren’t, don’t.
is that all you can say?
(h): haven’t, won’t, aren’t, don’t – and i said, “go away.”
grouches all agree.
we get a glow
from saying “no”
with “n”-apostrophe-“t”.
(c): do you talk to anyone?
(h): (wistfully) no, i don’t!
(c): come on out and have some fun.
(h): (hesitantly) no, i couldn’t!
(c): can’t you even tell me why?
(h): (apologetically) no, i can’t!
(c): will it kill you just to try?
(h): (wanting to) well, i shouldn’t…
(c): don’t, couldn’t, can’t, shouldn’t.
now, try it once my way.
(c): do?
(h): do…
(c): could?
(h): could…
(c): can?
(h): can…
(c): should.
(h): should! hey, that feels okay!
(c): so come along with me…
(h): i’ll give it a try.
and say goodbye
to “n”-apostrophe,
(c): “n”-apostrophe,
(c, h):“n”-apostrophe-“t”!
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