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tom mcfadden - dwarf planet, wassup? (pluto rap) lyrics

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anti = pluto should not be considered a planet. rather, it should be called a dwarf planet
pro = pluto should retain its planetary status

anti:
you’re a pluto fan? well i’m sorry y’all
since the 30’s, pluto’s been an oddball
check its orbit out. way elliptical
kinda tilted too. ain’t tryin’ to be critical
and tell neptune, it’s gonna get crossed soon.
staring at charon. pretty big, for a moon!

pro:
well i think it’s great. why you gotta hate?
going round the sun, having fun, like the other eight
pluto’s still a planet if i desire
it’s big. it’s round. it’s not on fire
planet means whatever we mean when we mean it
if its big and its round… we know it when we see it

anti:
huh. what an interesting theory?
you ever heard of this “planet” called ceres?
thought we had a new planet – 1801
found more and more stuff, but it was no fun
for the kids to memorize all the “planets” in the sky
with a never-ending list piling up sky high
too many “planets” – people got annoyed
so now we just call ’em asteroids

pro:
ceres? whatever. what’s your point meant to be?

anti:
pluto is the ceres of the 21st century

pro:
i’m not buyin’ it man, i’m not budgin’
pluto’s a planet. i know it cuz i love it

chorus:
a planet? nah, psuedo. you already knew though
dwarf planet now. hate to break it to you pluto.
and it’s very far away, far away, far away
its tiny. its icy. and it’s orbit kinda cray
but it’s rule #3 that it just doesn’t obey
a bunch of kuiper stuff is in its way
dwarf planet, w-ssup?

verse 2:
anti:
with new ‘scopes there was a typhoon
of new objects found past neptune
pluto was still the big daddy
until they found eris, just a little more fatty

pro:
so, was that planet number ten?

anti:
nope. cuz that would just extend
the future planet list up higher and higher

pro:
well they’re big, they’re round. they’re not on fire!

anti:
but think about ceres. same sorta story
pluto’s one of many new dwarf planets

pro:
sorry
but a dwarf planet’s still a planet right?

anti:
nope. cuz in that belt of kuiper
it’s just way too crowded
70k rocks floating all around it

pro:
man, sometimes i hate science

anti:
we got four terrestrials and four gas giants
and two belts: asteroid and kuiper y’all
so it’s not a “planet”, but it’s not an oddball
and the universe is an incredible place

pro:
mean very evil men just shortened up nature. (planet acronym)

chorus
anti:
a planet? nah, psuedo. you already knew though
dwarf planet now. hate to break it to you pluto
and it’s very far away, far away, far away
its tiny. its icy. and it’s orbit kinda cray
but it’s rule #3 that it just doesn’t obey
a bunch of kuiper stuff is in its way
dwarf planet. w-ssup?

pro:
a planet? nah, psuedo. you already knew though
dwarf planet now. but it’s still kinda cool though
though it’s very far away, far away, far away
though it’s tiny, it’s icy, and it’s orbit kinda cray
learning more about the universe every single day
we’ll keep on learning ’til we’re old and grey
dwarf planet. w-ssup?

- tom mcfadden lyrics

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