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tom mcfadden - tycho brahe vs. johannes kepler lyrics

chorus:
[brahe] i got data

[kepler] i got theories
found three natural laws, man you can’t come near me
got theories

[brahe] i got data…
that you needed for your theories so quit being a hater

verse 1:
[brahe] i’m tycho. i’m rich. literally. mentally
sickest moustache in the 16th century
i’ve got data on the sun and the stars
i write verses on venus, yo, i spit mars bars

[kepler] last name kepler. first name johannes
tryin to find order in the orbits of the planets
i got theories based on h-lla calculations
while you’re too busy chillin’ with your ladies and libations

[brahe] yeah – haha i know. my parties are nice
i’m getting’ data every night. man i’m so precise
i’m out in the field while you’re sittin’ on the sofa
do science like i’m supposed to, findin’ supernovas
showed the heavens do change. got aristotle mad at me
i’ve got a whole solar system model named after me

[kepler] but that tychonic model was whack
you were so off track. that ain’t where the sun’s at
cuz the sun attracts from the center
word to copernicus. my rhymes are so murderous
the only reason anybody’s heard of you
is cuz you got no nose, no flows, and no clue

chorus

verse 2:
[brahe] you’re nothing jo jo. you were my -ssistant

[kepler] you asked me to be! so why the resistance
to show me your data?

[brahe] you can kiss my astronomy goodbye
cuz you were there to do math
plus your mom was a witch – and you were kinda creepy

[kepler] at least i didn’t die from holding in my pee pee
i feel this deeply: you’re arrogant and full of flaws
i’m the one who had three planetary laws
after you died i got your data moving swiftly
law #1: planets move in ellipses
law # 2, after #1:
a planet speeds up when it’s closer to the sun
law #3: the planets that are further
take way longer to make a full circle
88 days for merc. 29 years for saturn

[brahe] whatever. does that pattern really matter?

[kepler] yeah, it does now.. for any sp-ce travel
or anything that requires a satellite

[brahe] aight. i guess we’re both kind a cool then
what with ushering in a science revolution

- tom mcfadden lyrics

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