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tom orlando - state of mind lyrics

[verse: tom orlando}

i never open up like this to anybody
try to keep the pain within but its unbearable
i love my momma more then anything
but sh+t you cannot fathom
all the trauma that i’m going through when i put up a front
i want a peace of mind
i wanna live a life without the fear of dealing with a drunk
whos constantly insulting me
a mother f+cker, lazy peice of sh+t
a stupid worthless b+tch
and i ain’t even scratch the list
its really hard for me to say this

as i’m writing on this song
i hear her banging on the walls
banging on the glass
trynna get attention
i don’t know how i’m resilient to all the noise
growing up to scrеaming did a number on her voice
always blaming еverything on me
when all i ever did was try to be the best of me
at the age of 9
seeing all the coke
dealing with the drinking
while i’m hiding trying to cope
i don’t know if i can handle anymore
doing everything i can to grow and move up out the house
praying up to god
wanna make it out
why the f+ck am i the one whos gotta pick up all the pieces
every single f+cking night alone
i wish i grew up in another home
i wanna fly away
live another day
i got a son to raise
never being led astray
growing up without a father
dealing with a trauma
having zero guidance
getting into trouble
giving in to violence
f+cked me up
man i don’t wanna live like that
i wanna set a good example for the youth
be the father you can come to after school
having dinner with the fam
making memories and being proud about your past
i got alot to learn
and i am just beginning
doing everything i can to make a f+cking living
learning from my past
never gonna live like that
ima be the dad that i ain’t never had

- tom orlando lyrics

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