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tom smith (filk) - can't get the file to play lyrics

[verse 1]
i got myself a new music file
a song i’ve wanted for quite a while
i load it into my computer’s player
then proceed to tear out my hair

[verse 2]
’cause the file don’t want to load
and then it asks for an access code
something ’bout digital management rights
what’s with all these blinking lights?

[chorus]
i can’t get, no, i can’t get
can’t get the file to play
i can’t get, no, i can’t get
can’t get the file to play

[verse 3]
i just want to hear the stupid song
maybe the (insert tech) went wrong
or am i missing (your tech named here)
i thought i upgraded just last year

[verse 4]
i found a program, its web page swore
it’d play еverything and more
but i let loosе an abhorrent scream
i couldn’t get a bittorrent stream
[chorus]
i can’t get, no, i can’t get
(windows media couldn’t be greedier)
can’t get the file to play
(quicktime is slow today)
i can’t get, no, i can’t get, i
(and music match has only one catch, it)
can’t get the file to play

[chorus]
i can’t get, no, i can’t get, i
(winamp’s a wimp and real player simply)
can’t get the file to play
(locks up and fades away)
i can’t get, no, i can’t get, i
(wanted to shoutcast, ituned it out)
can’t get the file to play

[bridge]
they say the definition of insanity
is repeating actions thinking they’ll end differently
i must not have a player program worth its salt
’cause there’s no chance it might be the file’s fault

[verse 5]
i spent two days on the internet
downloading every codec i could get
thirty+seven divx versions, all unique
file types that won’t exist until next week
[verse 6]
a hundred reboots later, i’m done
’cause nothing helps the d+mn thing run
you know, it just makes me want to scream
i only want to hear the spongebob theme

[chorus]
i can’t get, can’t get
can’t get the file to play
i can’t get, no, i can’t get
i can’t get the file to play

[verse 7]
then came a day when i found some sm+t
the best file description ever, but
every single time i tried
i got a blue screen and a kitten died

[verse 8]
i got the file but it took a week
i hit the play b+tton and i freaked
instead of sl+ts gone wild 7
it’s a portuguese episode of seventh heaven

[chorus]
i can’t get, can’t get
(i feel the hate of using creative)
can’t get the file to play
(roxio, go away)
i can’t get, no, i can’t get, i
(and quintessential makes me go mental)
can’t get the file to play
[outro]
no, no, i
can’t get, no, i can’t get
(ace is disgraceful, core is a bore)
can’t get the file to play
(and media monkey is gay)
i can’t get, no, i can’t get, i
(i lost my temper, working with mplayer)
can’t get the file to play

- tom smith filk lyrics

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