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tonedeff - commercial rap lyrics

[v1 – tonedeff]
are you concerned about the risks of stds when your b-lls slap the b-tt-crack?
introducing, the all new & improved trojan nutflap!
the only protection against disease for your sack/
that intervenes with the splash of even the sleaziest sn-tch/
now, breathe easy! in fact, you can rest -ssured that you’re safe/
the elastic band attaches fast so that it’ll hold it in place
no exposure to aids, herpes simplex or scrotal warts/
trojan flaps! – for when your little lady’s a total wh0r-

[v2 – packfm]
now, if you got a dry scalp, i know you heard this before/
‘got snow on your shirt, homey, go brush your shoulders off’/
don’t know what to do? qn5 brings to you (norexall)/
a new medicated dandruff shampoo (norexall)/
experimental, not fda approved/
but if properly used, some minor side-effects include/
nausea, blisters, hair loss in some sections/
liver-failure, a skin rash, and mild depression/
insomnia and a slight addiction to crack/
but you’ll forget about your flakes or we’ll give your money back!
holla!

[v3 – mr. sos]
what’s poppin miss? have you ever felt not so fresh
to the point where you wanna wash your br–sts and brush your t–th but it’s not your breath? cop this then!/
smashingale! it removes haters, improves vapors/
and if you’re getting your freak on, you can get it in new flavors!
cherry reds and grapes! your homey friends will stay/
impressed for days, whether for the scent or the taste/
representing your face, like a down -ss chicks’ supposed to/
also available in water & vinegar if you are old school

[v4 – session]
(hey mama! i wanna go to spicdonald’s!)
hey latinos! we got something for ya!
a side of papas fritas and a mcpollo!
drowning in oil! mmmm. what a deal!
cop a goya malta and make it a meal!
(yo quiero taco bell!) no cabron!
go to spickey d’s, cop a side of chicharon’!
come down if you want some grubbin quick!
(jingle) i’m lovin it!

[v5 – deacon the villain]
whether you’re married or it’s time to sin/
go ‘head rub it in on your skin, in that special spot where privates blend/
natural male enhancement cream!
sweet sticky dream!
whether you’re with a sm-t or lady friend just trying to corner men/
but you can’t get it up to bust a nut on her chin/
turn that performance from a zero to a ten!
sweet sticky dream!
i know it’s not hard for you, you wanna do what grown folks do/
but you ain’t got the steam! you need sweet sticky dream!
you try and try to get it up, but you need more than big d-cups/
her mouthpiece just ain’t good enough, you need sweet sticky dream!

[v6 – mr. mecca]
just call the law offices of jafoney & liars/
forget them slip & falls or them accidental fires/
here at j&l we’re all about getting you paid/
suing the razor company if you get cut when you shave/
help sue your one-nighter if you find her chest is hairy/
or your babymoms for buying more milk than necessary/
dial 1-900-im-rich-b-tch! come on, it’s easy/
it ain’t like you got a job, you’re at home watching tv!

[v7 – kno]
now people have accused denny’s of being racist/
so now we’re giving our restaurants a hip-hop facelift/
jukebox pumpin mack 10/
every manager’s required to have at least 1 black friend/
we’ll give you people your own separate bathrooms/
plus our hash browns are chopped and screwed/
all of that with a smile and a handshake/
this week’s special: fried chicken-flavored pancakes!

- tonedeff lyrics

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