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tony funk - the chef lyrics

[verse 1]
the chef just left. my food is getting cold
sitting in the diner watching china get the gold
v-g-n-‘s getting old. i need to mix it up
she tryna get me home, roofies in a dixie cup
she calls it pixie dust, but i hate fairies
like i hate missionary s-x with rolling commentary
popping cherries is scary, ain’t mr. maraschino
chicks is too childish, you know they gambino
can’t be no tony funk chick, vip at the function
unless you got an -ss, cooking up a luncheon
just hook me up with something, a steak is fine
then pair the steak up with a case of wine
if you think it’s time, baby do your thing
you must be a teacher, the way you’re giving brain’s insane
like don’t you know i’m loco?
motivated. they’re saying he’s so dope
yeah
yeah

[verse 2]
yo
roger start the countdown. steve stay steady
stan and francine are almost home, get ready
no confetti just spaghetti i guess it’ll have to do
sledding in the morning, chess in afternoons
a yes to plat-tudes, a no to taking action
actually doing anything is old-fashioned
mashing up potatoes, chicken alfredo
eating waffles on the beach like i was in san diego
attraction is fatal, but so is death
so why not live your life a mile high on meth?
the chef just left. my food is going bad
like most conversations i’ve had with my
bag it up. baby bag it up
at the grocery store getting baguettes and laxatives
add it up. it was fifty-seven cents
in second grade thinking that i’d be the president
that’s a good one. the h-ll you think you’re doing?
i’m finished with this song man, i’m ready for a new one

- tony funk lyrics

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