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topographical gang – hands off lyrics

[intro]
welcome to s+xual harassment training

[spoken interlude]
now, we’ve got a scenario
bill wants to hug tim, but tim is clearly uncomfortable with his contact
should bill, a: hug him anyway
b: slaps him instead
c: bend down to waist level and say
“that’s a spicy meat+a+ball”
or d: not hug tim
if you answer anything other than d
you’rе going to prison

[chorus]
we’ve been sued 40 timеs
for s+x harassment+esque crimes
we’re coming down, you’ll be dismissed
don’t illegally hug, touch, or kiss
unless you wanna get into a legal standoff
getcha, getcha, getcha dirty hands off
getcha, getcha, getcha dirty hands off
getcha, getcha, getcha dirty hands off
[spoken interlude]
can you touch a woman?
no!
can you touch a man?
no!
can you touch the office goldfish without permission?
we don’t know!

[verse]
“s” means you should stop all the contact
“t” means you don’t touch if they want it
“o” means please take your hands off their body
“p” means that my desk’s not your potty
(who’s p++ping on your desk?
i don’t know!)

[chorus]
we’ve been sued 40 times
for s+x harassment+esque crimes
we’re coming down, you’ll be dismissed
don’t illegally hug, touch, or kiss
unless you wanna get into a legal standoff
getcha, getcha, getcha dirty hands off
getcha, getcha, getcha dirty hands off
getcha, getcha, getcha dirty hands off
unless you wanna get into a legal standoff
getcha, getcha, getcha dirty hands off
getcha, getcha, getcha dirty hands off
getcha, getcha, getcha dirty hands off

- topographical gang lyrics

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