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trav shark - the crooked man vs slender man lyrics

[intro: the announcer]
epic rap battles of housery
the crooked man
vs
slender man
begin!

[verse 1: the crooked man]
let me tell a story, a story about a slender man.he would walk the slender mile hiding pages, not quite a fan. (oh please)
not getting the population, the nation, the temptation on your film
barely showed your ass white no face on screen, should’ve called it a microfilm
i can’t tell if you were born like this or spent hours in gobi
sheesh, i didn’t think you would k!ll a family like toby
with that ugly look and style, didn’t know you would have a wife and daughter
but i guess when you’re against me, it’s more lambs to the slaughter
you wеre never a gamе, just a photoshop
thinking you would get fame and hit the top
your game is just not scary with all its gimmicks
you’re just an inspiration of what siren head f+cking mimics

[verse 2: slender man]
are you done with your sh+tty verse?
it almost sounded like you didn’t even rehe+rs+
looking like a pedophile with the creepy ass smile
you better start running if you want to do a crooked mile
luring people and k!lling them is sort of my shtick
the only thing that’s crooked is your umbrella stick
all you do is jack off horror from a kid’s toy
just a figment, not real but destroying joy
now i’m making you red. (yeah)
so you’re gonna be dead. (ha)
didn’t think i would see something so graphic
at the end of this, you’re gonna see static
[verse 3: the crooked man]
i can see you spend most of your days around roble
you should’ve been deleted like your horror game on mobile
i expected more from your arrival
but i guess when you’re against me, you’re nothing but a rival
i get all the spotlight while you blend into the background
feeling like i’m deaf from the booming you do as sound
from how you’re standing, you look like a jpeg
you’re so ugly, you came out as a plants vs zombies easter egg

[verse 4: slender man]
you want to talk about easter eggs, your sh+tty ass was in a circus
have a hat fused to your face, acting like me hiding in quercus
so how about you go to crooked h+ll to ring a bell
your sh+tty tricks don’t make it so conjuring
try to find my pages, maybe it’ll make you start hurrying
with every word you talk and rhyme, it’s just a waste of time
your little song wasn’t all that groovy
your fears you bring is lifeless…like the reviews on your movie. (ha, ha, ha)

[outro: the announcer]
who won?
who’s next?
you decide!
epic rap+ +slender man encounter sound effect+ o+of housery
ahh!

- trav shark lyrics

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