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treacherous three – xmas rap lyrics


[kool moe dee:]
ho ho ho
open up ya do’
i’m santa claus and guess what y’all
i got something to show
i came to bring some christmas spirit
i got a big bag now guess what’s in it
something for the rich and something for the po’
so merry christmas and ho ho ho

[l.a. sunshine:]
ho ho ho merry christmas my foot
i’ma tell you what santa really put
under my so-called tree but in reality
looked like nothin but a decorated pole to me

[special k:]
man, you talk about a tree it makes wonder
cause i never had a tree to put anything under
if i ever did luck up and get a tree
there was never anything under it for me

[kool moe dee:]
man i don’t know what y’all talking about
cause when i come to your town i just get chased out
i thought you’d be happy to see santa claus
but all you say is ‘stick ’em up’ and ‘give me all’

[l.a. sunshine:]
you lucky all you did was get ripped off
and next time we’ll kick your big fat -ss up north
’cause after my last few christmas nights
if i see you around my neighborhood i’m shooting on sight

[special k]
and i ain’t even got a chimney for you to come down
so ain’t no need for you to be comin’ around
’cause the last so-called santa that came in with a sack
instead of giving out presents he was taking a nap

[kool moe dee]
man, y’all should be glad that i didn’t quit
’cause i’m getting too old for this santa claus sh-t
you think i’m getting presents made for free?
i gotta pay them elves and ain’t n0body paying me

[l.a. sunshine:]
you big fat whale you might as well quit
cause i can name a hundred presents that i didn’t get
and if i did get a present it would be a hand-me-down
yo i got this for christmas now how that sound

[special k:]
it sounds good to me cause i’m about to freeze
you wanna see something look at the bottom of these
me and brothers can’t go out at the same time
cause a coat that’s theirs is a coat that’s mine

[kool moe dee:]
man i know one thing y’all better get off my neck
and wait till you get ya welfare check
go on down to the office and stand in the line
better hurry up see i got mine

jingle, jangle, jingle for the po’
and once you get your welfare check
yo kiss my mistletoe
ho ho ho
ho ho ho

[l.a. sunshine:]
that’s why the presents keep getting mixed up
cause year after year you keep f-cking up
and now i know why cause you always drunk
instead of g.i. joe you send me this junk

[special k:]
that ain’t a g.i. joe that’s a g.i. jerk
with a kungfu grip that don’t even work
so all i did was just put him away
cause my g.i. joe looked g.i. g-y

[kool moe dee:]
that’s why you don’t get presents now
cause you’re just ingrates
if the g.i. joe is g-y what difference does it make?
after all he’s just a doll ain’t too much he can do
if you ask me boy i ain’t too sure about you

[special k]
yo, forget about that, what about these shoes?
instead of christmas carols, i’m singing the blues
starin’ at the clock, working harder [?]
’cause i just played the number combinated on the dot

[l.a. sunshine:]
i played two-thirty four, put a penny on seven
combinated four-twelve and deleted eleven
put my last five cents on three-fity-six
and after all that i didn’t win sh-t

jingle, jangle, jingle for the po’
and once you get your welfare check
you won’t play elves no mo’
ho ho ho, won’t play ’em no mo’
ho ho ho
yeah, you got that right

[l.a. sunshine:]
algiht, listen bloato in your big fat suit
next time say you don’t send no subst-tute
cause i asked you for a beatbox and you know what i got?
dougie fresh, you know that kid from down the block

dougie fresh:(beatboxing)

[special k:]
for a fascimile we must admit
dougie fresh was good and made a perfect fit
he’s the only reason why we weren’t totally mad
without dougie our christmas would’ve been really sad

jingle, jangle, jingle for the po’
and once you get your welfare check
even dougie fresh go go
ho ho ho, dougie fresh go go
ho ho ho

[l.a. sunshine]
to top christmas off i had no lovin’ in a while
i’d love to have s-x but i can’t afford a child
my girl wants a baby, but i have to chill
she said ‘if you don’t want a baby then you take the pill’

[l.a. sunshine;special k;both]
what is christmas for?
what is christmas for?
what is christmas for?
what is christmas for?

[kool moe dee:]
wind-up toys that don’t wind up
talking dolls that don’t shut up
there are the type of presents you buy when you’re poor
so that’s what you have to settle for
and it ain’t no secret that everything’s sunny
when you live in comfort with all that money
american economics work, and i won’t argue, that is true
but if the economy is getting better, getting better for who?
well, if you ask me, [?] much worse than before
on the welfare, ’cause i don’t eat no more
so if i did want to go out, i couldn’t go nowhere
’cause i ate every last one of them reindeer
rudolph first, i went down the list
i got so hungry i just couldn’t resist
i ate dasher, prancer, dancer, vixen
find ’em up and started to mix ’em
and before you knew it, they’re all gone
now what i’m gonna do about my reindeer song?

you sing ‘silent night’, and ‘jingle bells’ and all those christmas rhymes
’cause n0body gives a sh-t about reindeer at hard times
so just jingle, jangle and hang out with the po’
and when you get your welfare check
you’ll buy reindeer by the sco’

kool moe dee:
well let’s get doug e. fresh and magnificent force
and head on out the do’
and leave these party people singing
jingle, jangle, jingle for the po’
don’t take us for granted, ’cause you may never know
one day when you least expect it, we’ll be evening up the sco’
so just jingle, jangle, jingle for the po’
jingle, jangle, jingle, jingle jangle with the po’
jingle, jangle, jingle for the po’
jingle, jangle, jingle, jingle jangle with the po’