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trevor moore - drunk texts to myself: volume ii lyrics

[chorus: trevor moore]
drunk texts to myself
messages through time
i don’t remember any of these
what was going through my mind?

drunk texts to myself
subconscious to my phone
what are these supposed to mean?
should’ve left this thing at home

[verse 1: trevor moore, har mar superstar]
captain crunch origin movie (captain crunch)
learn karate so you can teach it without all of the bullsh+t (learn karate)
ihop established after second world pancake war (there was so much blood)
s+x addiction is a serious disease that assh0l+s get (not truly something that you really have to cope with)
the 711 guy knows a fireworks guy (thank you ju’ar halar)
hey ladies, the airport is not a slumber party (sweatpants)
bill clinton makes a peanut b+tter and jelly sandwich by himself in the kitchen at night (ooh)
he puts doritos in the sandwich and eats it standing up staring off into sp+ce (saxophone up in here!)

[chorus: trevor moore]
drunk texts to myself (thank you!)
messages through time
i don’t remember any of these
what was going through my mind?

drunk texts to myself
subconscious to my phone
what are these supposed to mean?
should’ve left this thing at home

[verse 2: trevor moore, har mar superstar]
gauges in people’s ears are a good way to gauge who not to get into a conversation with (i don’t wanna talk to this gutter punk)
they haven’t made strip club billboards since the mid+90s’ (laser fonts and cottony bangs!)
never go to that bar again
they’re all assh0l+s, and refuse to apologize if amy makes you (i feel regrets)
pitbull is playing on the 18th (nope! no no)
e+d+e+d+a+d+a+f+b+a+b
chords to ducktales theme (a+woohoo, woohoo!)
when high, always think about that dead monkey in the sp+ceship (cause that’s what gets me off!)
i know you can’t get aids from a toilet seat, but if you could, i would have totally just got aids (ugh!)

[bridge: trevor moore, har mar superstar]
from the 4th dimension’s pov, we’re all literally the same organism
because they are outside of time and see us as a connected branching life where we are one with our ancestors and descendants (testify to the third eye!)

[chorus: trevor moore, har mar superstar]
drunk texts to myself
messages through time
i don’t remember any of these
what was going through my mind?

drunk texts to myself
another volume here
these are the texts i’ve sent myself in the last year

- trevor moore lyrics

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