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trial to truce - never enough lyrics

intro:
let’s reset, a small change of perspective
two folks, let’s go

verse 1:
he was a regular at tsul and worked a standard nine to five
he lived alone on f+gonroad, appartment number nineteen
always with his old impression of social distribution
‘the ones who bloom out of this city are intruders’
he went for a walk on his sunday morning routine
he never saw anyone, he loved those empty streets
decaying walls declared misery, he already had a hunch
‘i don’t need purpose just perserverance to get through these months’

interlude:
hmm, never enough, a solely route to find a cause
he thought he had it until it left, damaged for life fulfilled by regret

verse 2:
afraid to look long+term the future just seemed too dismal
‘rather lonesome than being stuck in a lifelong drizzle’
that was his view on marriage, it’s ironic ’cause he used to dream of love
that’s why he lived on f+gonroad, still visited the flawless scene
blond locks, brown eyes, corner of the street
eyes meet, smiles and then his ears tweaked
months passed and he noticed a shift in behaviour
some’ want to fit into the larger scale, his yearn for love was taken
that’s when he started dropping over at tsul
he knew it was bad
but he found peace between those walls after every single setback
proceeded to feel a lack in energy was at the expense of his only refuge, his creativity
see he used to be a painter, a master of his art, inspiration from kadinsky with parts of kahlo’s world
turned sorrow into magic with every stroke of his brush
but when easy substitutes come the mighty brain turns into gum
proceeding with his walk he saw a woman from the building across
mumbling within herself and two kids strolling along
he saw this as his reassurance that he made the right decision
but right before his final breath faded regret paid him a visit
a lonesome life can only be fulfilled on your own
he acknowledged that he failed himself and then he was gone
hm, a sad tale indeed
chorus:
i have everything i need, somehow, it’s never enough
i might differ in beliefs, but that can’t be the cause
i used to find pride in this thing, but that can’t be cause, i just know it is not so won’t you just…
everything i need, somehow, it’s never enough
i might differ in beliefs, but that can’t be the cause
i used to find pride in this thing, but that can’t be cause, i just know it is not so won’t you just shut up

post+chorus:
another pad, another way, maybe that’s what i should try
i’ll think it out, think out loud, but each time i seem to lie
take it out, make it out, then you’ll thrive
the approach of a realist in a dreamer’s mind

verse 3:
she was a woman with a husband and a mother of two
kids consumed her life but still she looked for things to improve
on herself she always felt inspired by this man
from the building across, he had routine, she was a fan
to her he looked like a creative with his ancient looking robes
she used to dream of writing, but her stories never got told
she struggled to find peace in her small sized home
those couple square meters one bedroom and four folks
husband works the nightshift, sleeps in the day, marriage on edge
they fell in love in ’16 from there on things moved fast
then they barely spoke and she felt guild, she thought about divorce
remorsed the fact she couldn’t think past those four thin walls
one day she picked herself up and took the kids outside
drained their energy took them to bed and started to write
fictive stories ’bout the nature that should lay outside the city
the scents you would inhale, but stories were too pretty
see in a lackl+ster system there is nothing to be told
just sleep, work, eat and then stay inside your home
she thought living in delusion could damage her children
and when that man passed away, she didn’t know what she was feeling
“why mourn over a stranger who n0body really knew? how come i don’t find enough fulfillment in those little two bright lights dancing around me screaming ‘mama is the best’? why does that sentence feel vacant to me? i’m overloaded with stress”
the irony came twenty years later when her husband passed
kids moved out she sat alone on the apartment’s bed
every day turned duller as the silence consumed her
all the freedom she ever wanted still no urge to maneuver
she thought ‘this is how that man must’ve felt’ and then she felt regret
she should’ve talked to him at least try to take the chance
’cause when the day finally came and she took her last breath
she realised all she ever needed was a friend
chorus:
i have everything i need, somehow, it’s never enough
i might differ in beliefs, but that can’t be the cause
i used to find pride in this thing, but that can’t be cause, i just know it is not so won’t you just
i have everything i need, somehow, it’s never enough
i might differ in beliefs, but that can’t be the cause
i used to find pride in this thing, but that can’t be cause, i just know it is not so won’t you just shut up

outro:
thank you, now breathe, a small moment of introspection
when the day comes and your time has been taken over
you reflect on your view of the horizon and how maybe you should’ve been closer
the dreamer who took the realist approach, begs out of regret or has accepted the void
a burden from within making life seem as a casualty, but the war you’re in is made out of papercuts, not war machines
so live on, toss regret, discard that sense
and i tried, tried to differ, differ the difference between what you should and what you must, what you can’t and what you later told yourself you couldn’t and conclude it was never enough for you to prove it
i tried running, not enough, tried circling around grief, not enough
tried to pivot my perspective, tried to mimic other’s leisure, almost acted like an addict
dug a hole, cement on top, that void remains, still unfought
just break it open and dig deeper, but tell me what will those roots bring me when i see them
it’s what i fear, it’s what i doubt, it’s what i want, i want it now
but if my fulfillment is their devil, then i don’t know if life is h+ll or heaven
well perhaps it would at least be home
no, maybe i should move on, maybe i should leave it, so many make it unfulfilled, so many live through grievance
but i can’t, i feel it tumble down on me while i’m waiting for that freedom
to unfold, to unleash, but that can’t be the reason, it can’t be, it can’t be
it can’t be…
lucy

- trial to truce lyrics

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