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triandro - i am a mosaic of everyone i've ever loved lyrics

verse 1: triandro
yeah
i got notebooks full of pain from the days it’s
hard to wanna live with unfair wages
hard to wanna be with thoughts so dangerous
marked for making, heart beat is so strangling
call me a heartthrob, reminded i’m not god
i feel like a knock off, leaving the pot on
unarmed and unfit to lead
my n+ggas understand without me, they’d still believe
in a future, i’m so immature
i can’t be a tutor, when i’m still a student
when i’m still confused and every time i look in the mirror
i’m still fearing seeing mum and my dad
armed with the gats, i don’t even have a pad
so i stick to writing thoughts that i done had
narcissus as god’s witness to laugh
harm witches and calm twitches to mask

verse 2: triandro
b+tch, i start spitting some facts
but they ain’t living with that
i’m still hit from the fact
mama preached love i was all she ever had
then she kicked me to my aunt’s and then onto my ass
white cousin calling me a negro
father’s a pedo
brother hates women and me so
who do i turn to when blood turns black
birthday cards and wishes man i motherf+cking burnt that
verse 3: triandro
i’d curbstomp, but you don’t even deserve that
i’ve hurt one’s i cared for been hurt back
i earned that, i turned back the season
tryna give my n+ggas like one or two reasons
for how i teased em, for how i’d treat em
know i don’t mean it, though i’d believe if
you wanna turn around and walk away forever
these clouds and the rain is some awful weather
it’s awful whether i try or don’t
and my mind
is so lost and dying hope
i’m alive in like four or five
so don’t believe what you’ve seen in the lines i wrote
now don’t hold back
just hope and laugh
maybe we can open back
on loathsome tracks
though this a broken track
i’m holding back
broken minds and hopeless nights
i overact
i’m over past
but know that that boy is not
enjoy the c+ck of guns and poison lots
and ointment blocks
of teary eyes so moisture talks
it’s noise and rot
i’m standing with a d+mn potent pot
and obvi, i speak for myself
when all you taught goes against all your health
sitting with wrists spilling don’t close the gash
this ain’t blood, this just paint for the mosaic, yeah
verse 4: yung dread da prophet
good weed k!lling my oxygen
one spirit in me but it feels like lots of djinns
why would i wish on a star that’s not within
i can only trust me in this world i see
i’m tired of da vinci’s on lynched trees
over colour even though it’s red when skin bleeds
but then again when my pen gets empty
it seems to be my pain that always fuels the mc
yeah uh
i’m tired of delving in my veins for ink
hate that my best flows are only when i sink
smoke good cause bad days make me not wanna think
i’m chained to thoughts right now so i don’t wanna link
how long can i balance standing on the brink
feel like i been broke down these more than ch+nks n+gga
these more than
yeah, yeah
stuck in loops like a cul de sac
can’t hold it back
feels like my souls chi+raq
they toting macs
my life’s like rolling cr+ps
and the roll is cr+p
baby i know it’s bad
but no going back
when the sky is otis black
and the omen wack
and all of my bros are rats
and hoes just cap
when my wrist open don’t close the gash
baby this is just paint for the mosaic

- triandro lyrics

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